Skipper and Private Meet the Killer, King Julien
by sbartist357
Summary: After watching a black-and-white murder mystery for movie night, Private dreams that he and the others are in the movie.
1. Prologue

**Hi! It's sbartist357 with another PoM story for all you fanguins out there! :) About the cover, I made it using Photoshop. If you want to see it in full size, go to DeviantArt and type in my username, TheKuddlyKrab; the picture's called "PoM: Skipper and Private Meet the Killer Poster 1" (without the quotes). Okay, this fanfic is based on a movie, but don't worry; you DO NOT have to know the movie to read this! I'll explain more at the end of this chapter. For now, enjoy the prologue! :D**

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"Well, that was an interesting movie."

The penguins, lemurs, and Marlene had just finished watching a film for movie night in the HQ. It was an old black-and-white murder mystery from the 1940s. The lemurs had barged in and refused to leave; Marlene was invited. Skipper figured that since it was more comical than scary, Private wouldn't get scared by it and, fortunately, he seemed to be okay (at least, he wasn't shivering or clutching his lunacorn). Everyone enjoyed the movie except Julien, who seemed rather annoyed.

"Eh, so the mystical guy with the funny hat and hypnotic powers didn't do the killing? That is ridiculous! He was completely capable of doing the killing! Right, Maurice?" He looked at his advisor.

"Uh, I guess so."

"Of course, Maurice! The problem was that the plumpy one was too stupidy! Watch, I could hypnotize anyone!" He produced a pocket watch from out of nowhere and swung it in front of Mort, who was sitting next to him.

"You like the feet. . ." Julien said mysteriously. Mort's eyes grew wider than usual as he stared at the ring-tailed lemur's feet.

"I like the feet. . ." He repeated, reaching out to touch said feet. Julien kicked him into the side wall and proudly turned back to Maurice.

"See? I, too, have the magicalistic powers of the guy with the funny hat!" Skipper looked away from the TV and groaned.

"Ringtail, Sad Eyes always liked your feet."

"No one asked you, fishy-smelling penguin! I can tell you don't believe in my mystical abilities." Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Well, you're right about that, Ringtail. Okay, the movie's over. Now get out." He pointed to the ladder. Julien huffed.

"Fine." He and the other lemurs left through the fish hatch. Marlene started to get up.

"Well, it was certainly a fun movie night, guys! Thanks for inviting me!"

"You're welcome, Marlene. Too bad the lemurs had to barge in."

"Oh, it's fine. I really liked the movie! Well, I guess I'll head home; it's getting late. Bye!" The penguins waved at her as she left through the side door and closed it behind her. Private looked at Skipper.

"So, how did the hotel manager wind up being the bad guy? I thought it was the guy with the hat."

"You mean swami." Kowalski corrected.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's pretty simple, Private," Skipper began. He paused to think. "Uhh. . . Kowalski, you're the explanations guy. You tell him." The lieutenant gave Skipper a small glare for putting him on the spot before turning to face Private, who was waiting for him to answer the question. Kowalski sighed.

"Okay, so it all started when. . ." He went on to explain how the hotel manager was the killer, including the other murders that occurred during the movie, in elaborate detail. Twenty minutes later, he finished. Skipper, Private, and Rico stared at him with blank looks.

". . . And that's why it was the hotel manager, and not the swami, who committed the murders."

"Uhh. . . Okay." Private replied. He had no idea what Kowalski just said, but decided not to ask again; Skipper and Rico seemed just as confused.

"Kowalski, did you even understand what you just said?"

"Honestly, no."

"Okay, then. Let's clean up and hit the sack, boys. It's past our regular lights out time." The penguins did as they were told and climbed into their bunks. Skipper turned the lights off and climbed into his bed at the bottom.

"Private?" He asked quietly. The youngest penguin looked down at him from the second bunk.

"Yes, Skippah?"

"The movie didn't freak you out, right?"

"No, I liked it," Private replied, smiling. "It was funny." Skipper returned his smile.

"I'm glad you did. Goodnight, Private." He turned onto his side, facing away from the portholes. Private laid on his back again.

"Goodnight, Skippah." The young penguin closed his eyes and fell asleep.

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 **Okay, so Private's asleep; we'll enter his dream in the next chapter. :) As for the movie, this story is based on the 1949 film _Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff_. Again, you DO NOT have to be familiar with this movie to enjoy reading this; I wrote this story to cater to the characters' personalities, not the other way around. For those who have seen this film, some of the events will be changed/omitted because of this. I'll have more notes on that as we go along. :)**


	2. The Murder Mystery Begins

**Yay! We finally get to start the movie, er, the dream! Yes, that's it. XD Thanks to Penguins005 for sending me a review! For this story, I'm giving out virtual butterscotch lollies, so here you go! O- (sorry, the stick is a little stubby; FanFiction doesn't like multiple hyphens together) ^^;** **Okay, just a few notes before we begin. The locations are the same as the movie. The penguins are still a team, but the lemurs are separate. Regardless, everyone still knows each other. Alright, here we go! :D**

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It was a dark and stormy night at The Lost Caverns Hotel. Kowalski was the desk clerk, Skipper the hotel detective, Private the bellboy, and Rico did the other various odd jobs around the hotel. Skipper was sitting on a couch in the lobby, looking at a newspaper, and Kowalski was standing behind the counter, resting his head on his flipper and nonchalantly flipping through a magazine.

Suddenly, the front door opened, revealing Maurice, who was wearing a hat, a thin tie, and carrying a bamboo suitcase in each hand. The lemur was dripping wet. He approached the counter and rang the bell. Kowalski looked up at him.

"Hello, Maurice."

"That's Maurice, Jungle Law Lawyer to you, man," He responded. "Have somebody take my bags to my room." Kowalski looked at Private, who was sniffing some flowers on a coffee table at the far side of the lobby.

"Private! Take our guest's bags to room 125." The penguin waddled over and picked them up. However, since the handles were wet from the rain, he lost his grip on one of them. It crashed onto the hard floor and opened, causing a pile of papers to slide out.

"Ugh, look what you did!" Maurice yelled, hastily trying to pick them up. Private gasped.

"I'm sorry! Here, let me help." He put the other bag down, leaned over, and helped push the strewn papers back into the briefcase. Unfortunately, when the papers were back inside, Private accidentally shut the suitcase on Maurice's hand, causing him to yelp in pain.

"Ouch! What's wrong with you? Let me do this myself!" Private raised his flippers and took a step back, feeling guilty. Maurice closed the suitcase and stood up. Kowalski glanced at Private sympathetically for a moment before returning his attention to Maurice.

"Uhh. . . Sorry about that. Here, just sign the register and I'll get your room key." He said, turning to the key rack to retrieve it.

Private looked at Maurice's bags and noticed that the clasp on the other one was unlatched. He leaned over and flipped it. Sadly, this only caused the bag to open, creating another mess of papers on the floor. Maurice finished signing in, retrieved his key, and turned to see him trying to replace the documents.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" He shouted, making Private flinch. "STOP TOUCHING MY BAGS!" Skipper, hearing the commotion, got off the couch and approached them.

"Whoa, there. Nobody yells at my men. What's the problem, portly lemur?" Maurice pointed at Private.

"Skipper, Private messed up all my files! I demand that you punish him immediately!" Skipper looked at the young penguin and crossed his flippers.

"Private, is this true?" He stared at the floor and nodded.

"Yes, Skippah."

"Well, in that case, Private, I have no choice but to ban you from eating Peanut Butter Winkies for one week." Private looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"Skippah, you couldn't!"

"I can and I just did," He retorted. "Rico! Take Maurice's bags to his room, pronto!" Rico, who was sitting by the window with Miss Perky, reluctantly got up and headed to the counter.

"Private, go to your room; I think you've done enough for one night." Skipper instructed. Private nodded, ashamed.

"Yes, Skippah." He turned to leave, but gave Maurice a quick glare before walking down the hallway toward the elevators. The lemur watched as Rico picked up his bags with ease.

"That's more like it," Maurice said, following Rico to room 125 on the first floor. Kowalski glanced at Skipper.

"Skipper, you're not really going to punish Private, are you?"

"No, of course not! I know it was just an accident," Skipper replied, smiling slightly. "I'll tell him later." Kowalski grinned.

Meanwhile, Private was wandering around the hotel hallways. He felt awful for messing up Maurice's files. Of course, it was all an accident, but he was shocked by the punishment Skipper gave him. No Peanut Butter Winkies for a whole week? That was horrible! He stopped and turned in the direction of Maurice's room; he needed to apologize. Room 125 was not far from where he was, and he arrived in a few minutes. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Umm. . . Maurice? It's me, Private. Can I come in?" He waited for Maurice to answer. When nothing happened, he quietly turned the doorknob and peeked inside.

"Maurice?" Private saw the lemur resting in a chair by the patio window on the far side of the room, his eyes closed. The penguin entered and went over to him. As he reached out to wake him up, he began to have second thoughts. He turned to leave.

"Come on, Private. You can do this." He encouraged himself. He turned back around and tapped the lemur's shoulder.

"Maurice?" Private jumped when the lemur slumped over and fell off the chair. He rushed to his side, not noticing that a figure was hiding behind the window curtains.

"Maurice! Are you okay?" He leaned closer to the lemur's chest to check for a heartbeat. Nothing. Slowly, Private stood up and backed away. When he was at the door, he turned and ran as fast as he could down the hallway toward the lobby.

"Skippah!" He rushed past Marlene, who was taking a casual stroll around the hotel. She stared at him, shrugged, and kept walking.

"Kowalski, did you hear something?" Skipper asked. Seconds later, Private reached the lobby of the hotel and ran toward him.

"Skippah! Help!" The leader placed his flippers on the younger penguin's shoulders.

"Private, what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the panic in his eyes. Rico, who had since gone back to sit with Miss Perky, joined the others at the front desk. Private's words came out rushed.

"Well, I was walking around the hallways when I decided to go to his room to apologize and-"

"Private, what are you talking about?"

"It's Maurice! He's been murdered!"

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 **DUN DUN DUN. Okay, so the guy who gets killed in the movie was a lawyer, thus Maurice got picked for this part (since he was a lawyer in the episode "Jungle Law"). The penguins will investigate the crime scene in the next chapter.**


	3. Investigating the Crime Scene

**Okay, the next chapter is here! :D Thanks again to Penguins005 for the review! Let's see what happens next. :)**

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The other penguins gasped.

"Private, are you sure?" The leader questioned. Private nodded.

"Yes, Skippah! I checked!"

"Alright, lead the way." Private turned around and ran into the hallway toward Maurice's room, Rico following. Kowalski started to join them, but Skipper pointed to the desk phone.

"Kowalski, call the police!" He ran after the others. The lieutenant frowned but did as he was told.

In a couple of minutes, the others reached Maurice's room and entered. He was laying on the floor, just like Private had left him. Skipper grabbed the lemur's wrist to confirm Private's claim, stood up, and turned to his teammates.

"Yep, he's gone," Private shivered. "Rico, get a blanket to cover the body." The penguin waddled over to the bed and grabbed one of the sheets. Kowalski came in and closed the door behind him.

"Skipper, the police said they'll send someone up here first thing in the morning."

"Okay, then. For now, let's investigate the crime scene and see what we come up with." Private looked at Maurice and noticed something he didn't see before. He pointed at the lemur.

"Hey, look at Maurice's neck; his fur is all ruffled." The other penguins stared at it.

"Hmm. . . That's strange." Skipper said.

"It looks like he was strangled, probably with a rope," Kowalski concluded, leaning over Maurice. Rico mimicked getting choked with the blanket he was holding and flopped onto the floor. Private shivered again. Just then, the door opened and Marlene ran in.

"Guys! I was looking all over for you! I saw Private running out of here and-" She noticed Maurice lying on the floor and screamed. Skipper approached her and placed a flipper over her mouth.

"Shh, it's okay, Marlene. Just go back to your room. We'll take care of this." She nodded slowly and left, noticeably shaken. Skipper rejoined the others.

A few seconds later, a couple more of the hotel's guests, Julien and Mort, appeared in the doorway. Instead of his usual crown, Julien was wearing a leafy turban decorated with a plastic jewel in the center. Private went over to keep them out.

"What is with all the screaming!?" Julien yelled, annoyed.

"There's been an accident." Private replied, spreading his flippers out so they couldn't move past him.

"Eh, what kind of accident?"

"Murder."

"MURDER?!" Julien shoved the penguin out of the way and ran in, followed by Mort. Skipper turned away from the body to see them standing there.

"Julien, get out of here!"

"That's KING Julien slash mystical guy to you, bossy penguin!" He replied arrogantly. Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. Just get out!" Rico, still holding the sheet, pushed him in the direction of the door and turned back to Maurice. Mort continued to stand there while Julien slowly backed out of the room.

Just before he left, he noticed one of Maurice's suitcases sitting on a table and snatched it. Private stopped him before he could get away.

"Hey!" Julien shoved the briefcase into Private's flippers just as Kowalski turned around.

"Smarty penguin, I saw the plumpy penguin trying to sneak off with this bag! I thought it could be important." He said, pointing at the small penguin.

"What? No! It was him!" Private insisted, still holding the briefcase. The tall penguin sighed and took it from him.

"I'll put this in the hotel safe." He waddled out of the room and disappeared down the hallway. Julien glared at Private.

"Penguin!" He yelled, sending droplets of spittle flying everywhere. The lemur turned and left.

"Ping!" Private said, rubbing his eye in disgust. He walked back to the others. Mort poked Skipper's back.

"Skipper?" He asked. The penguin turned to him.

"What is it, Sad Eyes?"

"Have you seen my rope?"

"Your what?"

"My rope. I was playing with it all day, but now I can't find it," He said, lips quivering. "Do you think someone stole it?"

"Why would someone want to take your rope?"

"It was strong; I could chew on it for hours and hours, and it wouldn't break! It even broke my tooth, see?" Mort opened his mouth to show him. Skipper sighed.

"Look, Sad Eyes. Right now, I have something more important to do. We'll look for it later, okay?"

"Okay!" The tiny lemur turned around and headed back to his own room, completely oblivious to Maurice's demise. Kowalski came back in and rejoined the group.

"So, anything new?"

"Mort says he lost a rope," Private replied. "Could that have been the murder weapon?"

"Hmm. . . That's a possibility, but why would anyone take it?"

"That's what I asked him," Skipper responded. "He said it was strong, so I guess the murderer would want it for that reason."

"Yeah and, as for who, it could've been anybody. I mean, I could've easily taken it, since I have access to all the rooms, and. . ." Private's voice trailed off as he noticed everyone staring at him. "Not that I did, of course!" He added quickly. At that moment, Julien returned and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Aha! So you killed Maurice! Bossy penguin, I demand you punish him!" Skipper face-flippered.

"Ringtail, I thought I told you to get out of here!"

"Fine, but don't come begging for my magicalistic powers to help you with your anger issues!" He stomped out of the room and left for real this time. Skipper rolled his eyes and looked at the others.

"Okay, I guess that's all we can do for now. Rico, cover the body," The scarred penguin draped the blanket over Maurice. "Rico and I will meet here at 0700 hours sharp. Kowalski, you bring the police inspector over the moment he arrives." Kowalski and Rico nodded and left, leaving Skipper and Private alone. Skipper placed his flipper on the younger penguin's back.

"Come on, Private. Let's get you up to your room." Private nodded and they headed to the elevators.

* * *

 **So, Julien's the swami (Julien: KING Julien slash mystical-) Yeah, yeah, whatever, Julien. ;) (Julien: Hey! At least put the word 'King' in front of my kingly words!) Fine. (King Julien: Thank you.) In the movie, the lawyer was actually stabbed, but I'm trying to keep this story as clean as possible. Alright, now for the questions that will leave you wanting more: Why did Julien try to steal Maurice's briefcase? Where is Mort's rope (a.k.a. the murder weapon)? The latter question will be answered in the next chapter!**


	4. Planted Evidence

**Well, here we are at the next chapter! :) Thanks to Penguins005 and PowerPuff Girls Z Fan 24 for reviewing! Here's a virtual butterscotch lolly for you, PPGZF24 (I shortened your username since I just typed it out fully in the last sentence). ;) O- Alright, so we pick up right where we left off. B** **y the way, the penguins each have their own hotel rooms on the top floor (I mean, why would all four of them share one room if the place has like fifty rooms or something?). XD**

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Skipper went with Private up to his room on the top floor of the hotel. Once there, Private turned to face him.

"Skippah, I didn't kill Maurice. You have to believe me!" He clutched onto the leader's feathers.

"I know you didn't Private, but it looks bad nonetheless." Skipper gently pulled Private's flippers off him and paced the floor.

"Yeah, I guess it does. . ." Private mumbled.

"At least you have two things in your favor. One, we didn't see any of Maurice's fur on you. . ." Skipper began. Private looked at his flippers.

"Eek!" He hastily wiped them on the bedspread while Skipper's back was turned.

". . . And two, the rope that was used to kill him is still missing. On the other flipper, all the evidence points to you. First, you and Maurice had a confrontation, and then you were seen coming out of his room. It's not an open-and-shut case, but the police will still consider you the prime suspect."

While Skipper talked, Private was getting ready to go to bed. He pulled the sheets down and saw a strand of rope lying there. He yelped and quickly covered it up before Skipper saw it.

"What's wrong, Private?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow. Private bundled all the sheets in his flippers and started to carry them out.

"I-I-I'm taking the sheets t-t-to the laundry." He stammered. Skipper held him back with a flipper.

"Private, you just changed your sheets yesterday. Now, what's wrong?" Private tried to get out of Skipper's grip. In the process, the rope slipped through the sheets and landed on the floor. Skipper let him go and picked it up.

"Well, I guess we just found the murder weapon," He looked at Private. "Where did you get this?"

"I don't know! I just found it in my bed!"

"Well, Sad Eyes said he was missing a rope. This must be it. We'll go put this back in his room." Private blinked.

"But, wouldn't that be. . . wrong?"

"Private, somebody is obviously trying to frame you. If the police find this here, they'll have you arrested!"

"Who would put the rope in my room, Skippah?"

"I don't know, but when we do, we'll find the murderer. Now come on, let's go." They left Private's room.

Mort's hotel room was a few floors below, so the two penguins took the elevator to get there. As they rounded the corner, they heard someone coming. Skipper pushed Private over to a potted tree near the wall.

"Duck." They hid behind it as Marlene walked past. Skipper and Private stared after her until she left and slowly came out of their hiding place.

"Skippah, didn't you tell Marlene to go back to her room?" Private asked.

"I did. There's something strange going on here. Come on, let's put this back," They waddled over to Mort's room. "If Sad Eyes is in there, we'll just say we're looking for his rope, okay?" Private nodded. Skipper tried the doorknob, but the door was locked.

"Here, try this," Private pulled a key from out of nowhere and handed it to him. "I said I had access to all the rooms." Skipper unlocked the door and they walked in, closing it behind them. The entire room was in shambles.

"Wow, I didn't know Mort was so messy."

"It's not that, Private; this room has been searched! I wonder if Marlene did it?"

"Are you sure? She doesn't seem to be the kind to do that."

"Maybe not, but remember what I said, Private: A friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked yet," Skipper headed to the walk-in closet. "Well, I'm going to put the rope away. Go and check to see if the coast is clear." Private saluted.

"Aye-aye, Skippah!" He waddled to the door and opened it to see Julien standing there, looking slightly surprised. "Oh, hello, Jul-"

"You didn't see me. . ." The ring-tailed lemur said mysteriously. He waved his hands in a way similar to Skipper. Private froze and stared straight ahead, a glazed look in his eyes.

"You didn't see me. . . I wasn't here." Julien whispered. The lemur turned and walked away. At that moment, Skipper came back out of the closet and waddled over to him.

"Okay, Private, I took care of the rope. Come on, let's-" He noticed Private standing still. "Private?"

"I didn't see him." He said, his voice sounding strangely monotonous.

"Who?"

"The guy who wasn't here."

"What guy?"

"All I did was open up the door to check the hallway, and then I blanked out." Skipper stared at him questionably.

". . .Okay. Come on, Private, close the door and let's go." He stepped out into the hallway and started heading to the elevator, but Private stepped back into the room and shut the door on himself. Skipper turned around and face-flippered.

"Ugh, Private! Come on!" He opened the door and pulled Private out into the hall with him. After closing the door, he escorted the young penguin to the elevator. Private was still slightly dazed from the encounter.

"I didn't see him." He mumbled. Skipper, having had enough of Private's weird behavior, gave him a slap in the face. Private shook his head and his eyes became clear again.

"Private, are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, Skippah. What happened?"

"Well, I put the rope back in Sad Eyes's room. As for you, I have no idea. I think you'll feel better after you get some rest." They reached the top floor of the hotel and went to their separate rooms. Just before Skipper opened the door to his room, however, he turned around.

"Oh, and Private?" He called. The young penguin looked at him.

"Yes, Skippah?"

"Kowalski said the police will be here first thing in the morning. The inspector is going to be interrogating everybody, so when it's your turn, I'll come to take you down there. Until then, just stay in your room." Private nodded. The two of them entered their rooms and settled down for some much-needed sleep.

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 **Poor Private, getting all hypnotized like that! :( What was Julien even doing there, anyway? :/ Why was Marlene walking around the hotel after Skipper told her to go back to her room? Who searched Mort's room, and why? So many questions! DX The police investigator will make their appearance in the next chapter! :D Who is it going to be? :O Be prepared for hilarity and slight drama! XD**


	5. Interrogations

**Here's the next chapter! :) Oh, along with the police officer, one more character will make their debut as well (then we'll have the full cast)! By the way, I made a second poster for this story featuring all of the characters! It's called "PoM: Skipper and Private Meet the Killer Poster 2" (without the quotes). Find it on DeviantArt! :) Okay, let's get this chapter started! :D**

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The next morning, Skipper and Rico were waiting in Maurice's room. It was now eight o'clock.

"What is taking so long?" Skipper asked, glancing at the clock on the wall. Rico shrugged. Suddenly, Kowalski ran in and closed the door behind him.

"Skipper! I got the - dgskdfhdbsgof!" The door was kicked open, crushing him behind it. Buck Rockgut entered, wearing a police badge.

"Okay, Pigeons! Where's the body?" Rico pointed at Maurice, who was still covered with the blanket he put on him last night. Buck marched over and lifted the sheet.

"Hmm. . . Some lollipop with a fluffy tail, huh?" He grumbled, placing his flippers on his hips. "What was he supposed to be?"

"A 'Jungle Law Lawyer'." Skipper replied, using air quotes.

"Great; that makes for a lot of suspects." The inspector muttered irritably. "Well, I'm going to call the coroner's office. Meanwhile, gather the hotel guests and bring them in here." Rockgut went out into the hall to use the payphone, closing the door halfway. Kowalski slowly peeled himself off the wall.

"Ow."

"Rico, find Sad Eyes, Ringtail, Marlene, and Fred." Skipper ordered. Rico nodded and ran out to get them, slipping past the half-open door. Kowalski sighed in relief.

"That was clo-" The door swung open again, crushing him a second time. The coroner came in, placed Maurice on a gurney, and left. Rockgut appeared in the doorway and shouted after him.

"Make sure to give me a full report as soon as possible!" He stepped back into the room and closed the door. Kowalski groaned in pain, removed himself from the wall, and glared at the door.

"What is it with me and doors today? Well, I'm not going to let myself get injured again." He reached out to lock it, but was whacked in the face by the door opening a third time. He landed hard on his back.

"'Ey! I got 'em!" Rico announced. He noticed Kowalski on the floor. "Oops." Before he could help him up, Julien walked in front of him and stepped on top of Kowalski.

"I, King Julien slash mystical guy, have arrived."

"GET OFF ME!" The lemur looked down at him before doing as he asked. Kowalski got up and brushed himself off. Just then, Fred and Marlene entered and sat down, waiting to be questioned. Rico went over to Skipper, who looked around in confusion.

"Wait, where's Sad Eyes?" He whispered.

"I dunno," Rico shrugged. "Couldn't find 'im." Skipper tapped his beak, thinking.

"Oh, well. I guess he doesn't need to be here, anyway." The two of them returned their attention to the interrogation.

"Okay, let's get down to brass tacks," Rockgut grumbled, pacing the floor. He pointed at Fred. "Let's start with the squirrel." Fred looked at him.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. What were you doing last night?" Before Fred could answer, Julien groaned and threw his hands in the air.

"This is ridiculous! The plumpy penguin did it! It's always the one you least suspect!" Rockgut turned to him and crossed his flippers.

"Look, Headache Hat, I'll handle the investigation my own way. Got it?" Julien was outraged, but decided to keep his mouth shut. While Rockgut continued to ask Fred some questions, Skipper left the room to fetch Private. He reached the top floor of the hotel, walked over to Private's door, and knocked.

"Private, it's me."

"Oh, come in, Skippah!" Private called from inside. The leader entered and found the younger penguin fixing the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine; just a little nervous about the police questioning me and all." He smiled slightly.

"You'll be alright. Come on." Private finished tidying the bed and followed Skipper out. Several minutes later, they reached the door to Maurice's room.

"Now, just tell him what you did last night and everything will be okay." Skipper said. Private nodded and the two of them entered.

Rockgut had apparently resorted to giving out third degrees, as he was now dunking Fred into a random bucket of stuffed animals with a fishing pole. He pulled him out, and the squirrel gasped for air. Private's eyes widened in horror; Skipper and the others seemed just as shocked.

"So, you wanna spill your tater tots now?"

"Tater tots? Can't I just eat them instead?" He replied simple-mindedly. Rockgut sneered and tossed Fred and the fishing rod to the side.

"Well, I guess he knows nothing. You can go, squirrel."

"Oh, okay. I'm going to run away now." Fred quickly untied himself and sprinted out of the room on all fours. Rockgut turned to Marlene and Julien.

"You, too." They left in a flash. Finally, he looked at Private, who gulped.

"Okay, Doughboy. . ."

"I'm innocent, Mr. Rockgut, sir." Private whimpered.

"Where were you last night?"

"I was in here." Rockgut got up in his face.

"SO, THAT'S A CONFESSION, HUH?" Private raised his flippers in defense.

"What? No! I just came in here to apologize!"

"Apologize, huh? For what?" Kowalski answered for him.

"Well, Private messed up Maurice's files when he was trying to take his bags to his room." Rockgut rubbed the bottom of his beak in thought.

"Hmm. . . Well, that's convenient, isn't it? You come in here, kill him, and then run out of the room as if you didn't."

"No, I didn't do anything! He was dead before I even got here!" Private shouted in panic.

"Whatever you say. For now, I don't want you leaving the hotel for any reason," Buck pointed at Skipper. "You make sure of that." Private stared at the floor.

"Alright, that's it for now. If I need any of you sugar puffs, I'll call you." He dismissed them with his flipper. They exited the room and stood in the hallway.

"That didn't go so well, did it?" Private asked sadly. Skipper frowned.

"Well, you know how Rockgut is. He's. . ."

"Mental."

"Yeah, but I'm sure he'll catch the murderer soon. Until then, we'll keep our eyes peeled for anything suspicious. Right, boys?" Kowalski and Rico nodded, gave Private a pat on the back, and left.

"Skippah, what should I do now?" The leader shrugged.

"I don't know. Have yourself a Peanut Butter Winky or something."

"I can't eat any for a whole week, remember?" Private replied, frowning.

"Oh, right. About that, you can have as many as you want; I was never going to punish you earlier." Private cheered up.

"Thanks, Skippah!" He waddled and disappeared around the corner. The leader headed to the lobby and tried to think about who the real murderer could be.

* * *

 **Well, well, well, so the police inspector is none other than Buck Rockgut! This is going to get interesting. . . ;) Yes, there were some references to "The Red Squirrel" (it's one of my all-time favorite episodes)! XD Okay, so what will happen next? Will Private gorge himself on all the Peanut Butter Winkies he can eat? Will the other penguins find more clues? :O Find out in the next chapter!**


	6. A Friendly Visit?

**Ta-da! The next chapter is here! :D Really quick: I'll describe Private's room in more detail in a later chapter, but for now, just know that he has a living room in addition to the bedroom. Okay, now back to our regularly-scheduled story. ;)**

* * *

A while later, Private was sitting on the couch in his room, slightly bored. Although Skipper said he could eat as many Peanut Butter Winkies as he wanted, Private only had three to avoid getting a sugar rush. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in, it's open," He smiled when he saw Marlene enter. "Hi, Marlene!"

"Hey there, Private!" She closed the door and sat next to Private on the couch. "How's it going?"

"I'm alright. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk. That police guy sure is rough." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. I felt bad for Fred when he was being questioned," He replied. "He didn't do that to you and Julien, did he?"

"No, thankfully. He didn't seem that interested in our stories. What about you?" She asked. Private tapped the tips of his flippers together nervously.

"He suspects me." Marlene gasped.

"That's terrible! I mean, sure, I saw you running out of Maurice's room last night, but you were all freaked out and everything; it wouldn't make sense for you to kill him and then make a big scene to attract attention."

"I'm glad you understand." He grinned.

"Sure, Private. Do you have any idea who could've done it?" Private shook his head.

"No. I've been trying to think about it, but I don't know who would do such a thing." Marlene tapped her chin.

"Hey, you know what? If you could prove who did it, you'd clear your name!"

"Hmm. . . That's true, but I don't even know where to start." Marlene smiled.

"Well, you know what really gets me thinking?"

"No, what?"

"Painting!" She whipped out a blank sheet of paper and paint bottle from out of thin air and placed it on the floor. "It works for me all the time! Here, you try it!" She opened the paint jar and gestured to it. Private got up and stared at the paper in front of him.

"Umm. . . Okay. What should I do?"

"Anything! You can even dip your foot into the paint and make a footprint!" Private smiled.

"Alright," He dipped his foot into the paint and stepped on the paper in the lower right-hand corner. "Like this?" Marlene nodded.

"Oh, yeah! See? Isn't this great?" Just then, there was another knock on the door. Private waddled over to answer it with the paper still stuck to his foot. He opened the door to find Rico standing there with a room service cart filled with sushi, oysters, and other seafood delights.

"'Ey, Pwivate!"

"Hi, Rico! What's this?" Marlene got up and joined them.

"Oh, I thought we could have some lunch together! You know, like friends and all. Thanks, Rico!" She pulled the cart inside.

"Ooh. . ." Rico cooed, winking at Private. He left and shut the door. Marlene led Private back to the couch and sat next to him again. She reached down and carefully pulled the piece of paper off his foot, revealing his footprint.

"Wow, you have a really nice footprint, Private!"

"Thanks, Marlene."

Meanwhile, in the lobby of the hotel, Rockgut was talking to the hotel guests again; he had gathered all of them together for an important announcement. The only one besides Private and Marlene who wasn't there was Mort, who hadn't been seen since the previous night.

"Alright, I've been looking through that deceased lollipop's files, and it seems that he and his secretary have quite a lot of dirt on all of you." Everyone in the room looked surprised.

"Wait a minute. Who was Maurice's secretary?" Kowalski asked. Rockgut pointed at Fred, who was sitting on the couch with a blank look on his face.

"That dim-witted squirrel over there."

"Fred!?"

"Wait, hold on, there. You mean to say that they've been spying on all of us?" Skipper questioned.

"Now you got it," Rockgut replied. "So, the sooner you all start talking, the sooner we can get this case wrapped up. Who wants to go first?" There was silence. He frowned and pulled one of Maurice's files from the briefcase.

"Okay, then. I'll give you suckers a sample," He opened the file and skimmed through it. "Here's one about Marlene: She was a three-time beauty pageant winner, but was banned after a scandal ruined her reputation." Fred stood up.

"Oh, you mean the otter? Yeah, she was tried for feeding one of her fellow contestants a sushi roll: Two parts sushi, one part poison." Rico gasped. He waved his flippers and yelled in gibberish, saying that he delivered a seafood cart to Private's room about ten minutes before, and Marlene was with him. Skipper and Kowalski stared at each other in horror.

"WHAT!? Let's go!" Everyone except Julien ran out of the lobby and toward the elevator.

Back in Private's room, Marlene was fixing Private a certain type of sushi roll, making sure to block his view while she prepared it. When she finished, she turned around and held it out to him.

"Here, Private. I made you one of my special sushi rolls. It's absolutely delicious!" Private stared at it; it looked like an average sushi roll, only shaped like a flower.

"Uhh. . . Thanks, Marlene, but I don't think I could eat something that looks so nice." Marlene smiled.

"Oh, of course you can! The nice appearance makes it taste even better! Come on, try it." Private slowly picked it up and looked at her. Marlene gestured for him to go ahead.

"Umm. . . Okay." He brought the sushi roll to his beak, slightly nervous; he wasn't used to someone staring at him while he ate. He bit off a piece, chewed, and swallowed it. It was good, but it had a strange taste.

Suddenly, his head started spinning and he grabbed the armrest to steady himself. The other half of the sushi roll dropped onto the couch. Marlene quickly switched it with a normal sushi roll. He glanced at her.

"What. . . did. . . you. . . do. . . to. . . me?" He collapsed onto the floor. Marlene leaned over him.

"Private! Are you okay?" She asked, feigning concern. Private's eyes closed and he lay limp. She folded the paper from earlier and hid it under her arm just as the penguins, Rockgut, and Fred came in.

"Private!" Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico ran to his side as the others confronted Marlene, who looked rather annoyed.

"What is going on here!?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Cut the shenanigans, Beauty Queen. We know all about you, thanks to the squirrel here." Rockgut growled. Marlene, knowing what they were referring to, was furious.

"WHAT?" She glared at Fred. "Why, you-"

"Oh, no need to thank me. It was all just part of the job." The stupid squirrel replied, mistaking her anger for gratitude.

"Now, are you gonna cooperate or am I gonna have to get tough?" Rockgut asked, crossing his flippers. Marlene sighed.

"Fine, just keep my name out of the papers; I'm trying to get back into those contests and this incident could ruin my chances."

"Who killed the lemur?"

"I don't know. If I knew, I'd tell you," She pointed at the sushi roll on the couch. "And there is nothing in that sushi roll, by the way."

"We'll find that out soon enough. In the meantime, you're not allowed to leave this hotel." They turned to the others.

"He's fine, Skipper, just unconscious," Kowalski reported. Skipper and Rico sighed in relief.

"Alright, Beauty Queen, the show's over. Go back to your room." Rockgut ushered Marlene out, and Fred left with them.

* * *

 **AHHHH, the drama! :O Marlene, why did you do that to Private?! :[ Why did you take his footprint? Something strange is going on around here. . . O_o Marlene's scandal was a reference to "Tangled in the Web"; I figured it would be fitting since Maurice and Fred apparently found out a lot about everyone. ;) Okay! So, what is Marlene up to? What kind of "dirt" did Maurice and Fred uncover about the penguins? Read on to find out!**


	7. A Sinister Plot

**Welcome back! :D Okay, nothing to report here, so let's see what happens next. :)**

* * *

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico were still in Private's room, waiting for him to wake up.

"Rico, smelling salts." Skipper ordered. Rico hacked up a small bottle and gave it to him. Skipper took the top off and held it near Private's beak. He started to cough and opened his eyes.

"Whoa! What is that?" He asked, waving his flipper in front of his face. Skipper gave the bottle back to Rico, who swallowed it for safekeeping.

"Smelling salts. Are you okay?" Private sat up and looked at them.

"Yeah, I'm alright." Kowalski examined the sushi roll on the couch; it appeared untouched.

"Private, is this the sushi roll Marlene gave you?" The small penguin looked at it.

"No, it was shaped like a flower." Skipper frowned.

"She must have gotten rid of it by now. That's it. Kowalski, put Marlene on our list of possible suspects." Kowalski whipped out his clipboard and drew her picture on it. Skipper put his flippers on his hips.

"This case is more complicated than I thought. We're going to continue our own investigation. In the meantime, Private, stay in your room and don't let anyone in except us, comprende?"

"Yes, Skippah." The other penguins left and removed the food cart, none of them noticing that a knife had fallen off and landed on the floor under the couch.

Several hours after Rockgut dropped her off in her room, Marlene snuck back out. She had thrown the tainted sushi roll away the moment she was alone. She took Private's footprint with her to another room in the hotel, knocked on the door, and entered.

"Hello, Marlene!" Julien greeted her. He was sitting in the middle of the floor in a meditation pose. She walked over to him.

"Hi, Julien. I got Private's footprint like you wanted." She handed the paper to him.

"Yes! This is perfect!" He exclaimed, studying it. "Eh, how did you get it?" Marlene smiled.

"Oh, I told him that painting would help him think better, so he did his footprint. Clever, huh?"

"Yes, but what about the sushi roll? I heard the smarty penguin tell the others that there was nothing in it."

"That's because I switched the sushi rolls before they came in. Otherwise, they would've found knock-out drops in it."

"I see," Julien replied, sounding slightly disappointed.

"What? Private is so sweet and innocent! I could never hurt him; I only knocked him out so he wouldn't ask any questions. Why did you want his footprint, anyway?"

"Eh, no reason," Julien replied quickly. Marlene rolled her eyes, but decided not to push him.

"Okay, then. . ." She paused, thinking. "Hey, you know what? I haven't seen Mort lately. I wonder where he could've wandered off to?" Julien shrugged.

"I don't know, but as long as he is not touching the royal feet, I'm happy," He dismissed her with his hand and closed his eyes. "Now please be leaving; I must meditate."

Marlene cocked an eyebrow and left. When he heard the door shut, he opened one eye to make sure she was gone. He stood up and paced the floor, staring at the paper.

"Hmm. . . My cleverly-planned plan is falling into place. Now that I have the plumpy penguin's footprint, I can make a realistical confession so that he is believed to be the killer. Then, using my magicalistic abilities, I will make sure the plumpy penguin is sleeping with the fishy-smelling fishy fish tonight, and this piece of paper will be found next to him."

Julien grabbed a pen from a nearby desk and doodled on the paper, trying his best to copy Private's style. When he was satisfied, he folded the paper up again and stored it in his hat.

In the hotel lobby, the penguins (minus Rockgut) were sifting through Maurice's files to search for clues and other possible suspects. They already knew about Marlene's secret, so they looked at the other files.

"I found Private's." Skipper announced, holding up one of the folders.

"What does it say?" Kowalski asked. Skipper opened it and scanned the pages.

"Seriously? All it says is that he loves 'The Lunacorns'! Everyone knows that already!"

"Well, at least it proves that Private had no motive to kill Maurice."

"True." Rico pointed at another file on the counter. Kowalski looked at it and picked it up.

"Hmm. . . This one is Julien's file," He opened it and gasped. "Oh, boy."

"What?" Skipper asked, leaning closer so he could see it. "Wow, that's pretty serious stuff."

"You think you know a guy. . ." Kowalski agreed.

"But I still don't get why anyone would commit murder over it. I mean, sure, he discovered everyone's most private secrets, but nobody even knew he did until today."

"Not exactly, Skipper," Kowalski pulled out a flyer from the briefcase and showed it to him. "It looks like he was planning to publish a book revealing everyone's deep, dark secrets. These flyers must have been posted all over town."

"Hoover Dam! How did we not hear about it before today?" They turned to Rico, who was laughing nervously.

"You ordered Rico to shred the hotel's junk mail, remember?" Skipper face-flippered.

"Oh, right. Well, I guess that clears all of us from suspicion."

"Yeah. I wonder what kind of dirt he had on us?" Kowalski tapped his beak in thought.

"Hmm. . . That's a good question. Let's look." They searched the pile, found their own folders, and examined them. The penguins gasped in shock.

"WHAT THE DEUCE!? How did that lemur find out about Denmark!?" Skipper asked.

"He knew about my Transmatterer!"

"Perky!?" Apparently, Maurice had dated Miss Perky several times without Rico knowing.

"Well, it's a good thing we didn't know about this before; otherwise, we all might have done it. Rico, take care of these." Skipper and Kowalski handed their folders to Rico.

The scarred penguin promptly swallowed and shredded all three folders. The pieces flew back out and drifted to the floor. Rico hacked up his flamethrower and burned them, leaving a pile of ashes. Finally, Kowalski picked him up and used him like a vacuum cleaner. He put Rico back down and the penguin burped.

"Excelante. We'll tell Private what we uncovered later. For now, let's put these folders back in the safe." They replaced Maurice's suitcase and went back to their normal duties.

* * *

 **Oh, boy. Julien has an evil plan! :O Will he be successful in doing away with Private? Also, where is Mort?! He's been gone for several chapters now. :/ As for references, the Denmark incident was (kind of) revealed in "Skipper Makes Perfect", the Transmatterer was from "Invention Intervention", and Rico destroying the files was a parody of what he did in "Work Order" (only with Kowalski using him as a vacuum cleaner instead of Private). Oh, about Julien's secret, I didn't reveal it on purpose (honestly, I couldn't think of anything, so I'll just let you readers make something up in your minds). ;)**


	8. Sleepwalking

**Alright, here we are at the next chapter! :) Private's room will be described in this part. One thing I didn't mention in the actual story is that there are two doors leading into Private's room: One to the living room and one to the bedroom. Okay, here we go!**

* * *

That night, Skipper went up to Private's room to check on him. Since it was getting late, he decided not to mention the files.

"Private, this case is starting to get serious. Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Skippah, I'm fine, really. You don't have to stay." Private replied. They had been going back and forth over whether or not Skipper should stay for fifteen minutes now. Finally, Skipper sighed in defeat.

"Okay, Private," He started to leave, but stopped in the doorway. "But if you need anything-"

"I know, I know. I'll call you." Skipper nodded and left. Private reached over to his nightstand and turned the lamp off, leaving his room completely dark, with the exception of the soft moonlight coming in from the window. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Out in the hallway, a certain lemur was tiptoeing toward Private's room. He peeked around a corner to see Skipper heading toward the elevator. Once he was out of sight, Julien went over to the door and snuck inside, taking extra care to close the door soundlessly behind him.

Private's room was spacious, with a bedroom, living room, bathroom, and two walk-in closets, one of which had a mirror door. Julien was already standing in the bedroom, and he noticed the small penguin sleeping peacefully with only his head peeking out from under the covers. He approached the bed, took a deep breath, and waved his hand over the penguin's face.

"Private. . ." He murmured. "You are in a deep sleep. All you hear is the sound of my royal and mystical voice. . . You shall follow my kingly commands without question. Open your eyes." Private did as he was told, his eyes appearing glazed over like before. Julien gasped in surprise.

"It worked? I mean, of course, it worked! Yes." He mumbled to himself. The lemur cleared his throat and continued.

"Plumpy penguin, a terrible fate awaits you. Your future is black and you have nothing to live for."

"I don't?" Private asked dully.

"No, but there is one escape: Eternal slumber, one that is full of peacefulness and all the fishy fish you can eat."

"Escape. . ." The penguin murmured.

"Yes. Now, get out of bed and stand before me," Private obeyed and stood in front of Julien. "Okay. Eh, everything in this room is made of rainbows and cute things."

"Rainbows. . ."

"Yeah, okay, you don't have to repeat everything the royal king commands." To Julien's relief, Private stayed silent. He looked up and saw a ceiling fan spinning above them. He also noticed a scarf sitting on a nearby chair. He grabbed it and gave it to Private.

"Okay, this is. . . uhh. . . a friendship line. Tie it around your neck," The penguin did. "Now, throw the other end up to the sky and the lunacorns will whisk you away to the place of eternal slumber."

Private threw it as high as he could, and the end of the scarf caught onto one of the fan blades. Unfortunately for Julien, Private didn't tie it tight enough, and it slipped off after a small tug.

"Hmm. . . Okay, that did not seem to be working," Julien said, tapping his chin. He walked to the window, opened it, and looked down; there was at least a fifty-foot drop from the ledge to the ground below. He turned to Private.

"Private, come to the window and stand on the ledge." The small penguin waddled over and climbed onto the sill. "Good. Below you is Lunacorn Land, with a fantastical rainbow slide and other happy things. Now, jump!"

In Private's mind, he could see everything Julien described. As far as the eye could see, lunacorns were galloping and talking about friendship. He even saw Princess Self-Respectra waving at him. As much as he wanted to go to Lunacorn Land, deep down in his gut, he felt that something wasn't right about it. Private leaned forward, threw his flippers back, and jumped. . . back into the room. Julien groaned and facepalmed.

"Not into the room, fishy-smelling penguin! Jump out the window into Lunacorn Land! Now, climb up again!" To his shock, Private shook his head. "Hmm. . . Maybe you would like to choose how you will kick your own fishy-smelling bucket. How would you like to go?"

"Living in a cottage in Nova Scotia, happily married with one egg and another on the way. . ." Private replied. Julien crossed his arms.

"Look, I am a kingly mystical guy, but I cannot be getting that for you. We'll have to try something else. Wait here." Julien went into the living room and saw one of Rico's sushi knives on the floor.

"Aha!" He picked it up and walked back into the bedroom where Private was still standing. "We're going to play a game, okay?"

"Okay." Julien led Private to the mirror door.

"It's called 'Poke Someone with the Pointy Thing'," He handed the knife to Private. "Now, take the pointy thing and poke the one you see in the mirror with it." Private looked at the mirror. He saw himself, but he also saw Julien. Naturally, he raised the knife and turned to the lemur. Private started walking toward him. Julien began to panic.

"What? No! The one you see in the mirror! Not me! Obey me, plumpy penguin! Ob-" He heard the doorknob jiggling and ran into the closet, shutting the door behind him. Private stared at the mirror again and lowered the weapon.

Behind him, Skipper waddled in and looked at Private; from his perspective, he couldn't see the knife. Private saw Skipper's reflection and grinned.

"The one in the mirror. . ." Private turned around, raised the knife, and slowly advanced toward him. Skipper started to step back, flippers raised.

"Private? Private! What are you doing!?" He watched in terror as the penguin continued closer, a glazed look in his eyes.

Wait a second. Skipper stopped backing up and slapped Private across the face, causing him to drop the weapon. Private rubbed his eyes; when he looked at Skipper again, they were crystal clear.

"Ugh, what happened?"

"Private! What were you doing with this!?" Skipper picked up the knife and showed it to him. Private looked at it in shock.

"What? I didn't. . . I mean. . ." Private started trembling; he couldn't believe what he almost did.

Skipper frowned. This wasn't like Private at all. What was with the distant look he had in his eyes while he was holding the knife? He needed some answers.

"Private, you've been acting strange lately. Is there something you need to tell me?"

"Well, I had a weird dream just now. . ." Private recalled everything: The scarf, almost jumping out the window, and the knife, although they were all lunacorn-themed to him. When he finished, Skipper tapped his beak.

"Hmm. . . Look, we'll go and talk to Kowalski about it later. For now, we need to find Sad Eyes. He's been missing since last night, and Rockgut wants to ask him some questions. Freshen up and I'll wait for you out in the hall." Skipper left the room. Private headed to the bathroom, but stopped in front of the other walk-in closet.

"Maybe a Peanut Butter Winky will make me feel better." He opened the door and stepped inside to grab one. As he reached down toward the box, he noticed something soft hidden behind it. Confused, he pushed the box aside and immediately stumbled backward, horrified by what he saw: It was Mort, lying face-down on the floor.

"SKIPPAH!" The young penguin cried. The leader ran in and stopped behind him.

"What's the matter?" Skipper looked over Private's shoulder and saw what he was staring at. He entered the closet and flipped Mort over. The mouse lemur was deceased. Skipper turned around and looked at Private.

"You didn't do this while you were sleepwalking, did you?"

"No, Skippah! I would never hurt Mort!" Skipper sighed and placed his flippers on his hips, being careful to avoid sticking himself with the knife he was holding.

"We have to tell Rockgut about this."

* * *

 **Oh, no! Why Mort?! He was so young and adorably stupid! (cries) Okay, I feel bad for bumping him off, but this movie has several murders in it, not just one. By the way, Private did not step into the walk-in closet until this chapter, in case anyone was wondering how he didn't notice Mort before. ;) So, I sugar-coated pretty much the entire murder-attempt part (the swami does try to kill the bellboy in the movie; since it's kind of a big segment, I kept it in my version). The only reference in this chapter was Private's wish to happily live in Nova Scotia (taken from "It's About Time"). Okay! How is Rockgut going to take this news about Mort? Will he suspect Private even more? Will Kowalski figure out what Private's "dream" really was?**


	9. Explanations

**Chapter Nine is here! Okay, nothing to report, so we'll continue with the story! :)**

* * *

Private wrapped his flippers around himself; he really didn't want to see Rockgut again.

"Do we have to?" He asked.

"Of course, Private! You'll really be in hot water if Rockgut finds this out himself. Come on." They went to the elevator and headed toward the second floor. After they left, Julien snuck out and headed back to his own room.

"Eh, that was close."

Skipper and Private exited the elevator, made the short walk to Rockgut's room, and stopped in front of the door. Skipper turned to face Private, who was trembling.

"Private, stay calm. Everything will work out." Private nodded. Skipper knocked on the door.

"WHO IS IT?" Rockgut's voice boomed from inside. The young penguin shook even more.

"Skipper and Private!" The leader called.

"Alright, sugar puffs, come in!" Skipper opened the door and went inside, gently pulling Private behind him. Rockgut was sitting at a desk with stacks of papers on it. He looked up at them.

"So, what do you want?"

"We found Sad Eyes." Skipper said.

"Good. Did he say anything?"

"No." Rockgut slammed his flipper on the desk in annoyance.

"You two lollipops are amateurs! I could make that bushy tail talk."

"If you did, it'd be a good trick." Private blurted out. Rockgut glared at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"And why is that?"

"He's dead." Skipper replied.

"WHAT!?" Rockgut stood up and waddled toward them. "Where did you find him?"

"In Private's closet." The young penguin shrunk back as Rockgut loomed over him.

"So, Doughboy, what's your excuse this time? You needed to apologize for messing up his sock collection?"

"I didn't do it!" Private whimpered.

"Rockgut, Private is innocent. He wouldn't hurt anybody!"

"Oh, and I suppose you watched him all day to make sure of that." Skipper stayed quiet; Rockgut had a point there.

"No," He admitted. "But I know he's innocent nonetheless. Private didn't have a motive for killing either one of them!"

"That doesn't mean he didn't do it. I'm still investigating, but I can tell you this much: Once I have enough evidence, Doughboy here is going to be charged with both murders," Rockgut said. "I'll have the coroner's office get Bushy Tail first thing tomorrow." He started to head back to his desk but noticed the knife Skipper was holding.

"What's that for?" Skipper looked down at it.

"Oh. I was just. . . making some sushi earlier." He lied.

Rockgut dismissed it and went back to his paperwork while Skipper and Private left the room. The young penguin rubbed his face with his flippers; this situation was not looking good for him at all. Skipper patted him on the back.

"Private, we still have time to catch the real killer. Let's go tell Kowalski about your dream; it might help." Private nodded and let his flippers drop to his sides.

The two of them made their way to the lobby and approached the counter. Kowalski looked up at them and frowned when he saw Private's expression.

"What's wrong, Private?"

"We found Sad Eyes dead in his closet." Kowalski blinked in surprise.

"Whoa," He noticed Rico's sushi knife. "What's with the knife?"

"Private tried to stab me with it." The lieutenant stared at Private in utter shock.

"I didn't know what I was doing!" Private explained. "I was having a dream." Kowalski looked at Skipper in understanding.

"You want me to analyze his dream, right?"

"Yep, that's why we came down here." Skipper replied. Instantly, the scientist whipped out his clipboard.

"Follow me." Kowalski led them to a dining room filled with tables and chairs. Rico was at the far side of the room, watching the rainstorm that was brewing outside. Skipper called him over and the four of them sat around a table.

"Rico, I believe this belongs to you." Skipper gave him the knife and he swallowed it.

"What's goin' on?" He mumbled.

"I think we have some more info on the case."

"Oh." They returned their attention to the others.

"Okay, tell me everything," Kowalski instructed. Private went through the events of his dream again while Kowalski took notes. When Private was done, he looked up.

"Interesting," He glanced at Skipper. "Tell me what happened when you walked in." The leader told him about the event.

". . . He snapped out of it once I slapped him." He finished. Kowalski reviewed his notes.

"You said Private's eyes were glazed over?"

"Yeah."

"Was that the first time you noticed that happen?"

"Actually, no. He looked the same way when we were leaving Sad Eyes's room. In fact, Private said he blanked out." Kowalski gasped as a thought occurred to him. He put his clipboard down and stared at them.

"Hypnosis."

"What?" They asked.

"Private must have been hypnotized! Based on what the two of you described, that has to be the only answer!"

"So, you're saying that somebody hypnotized Private to stab me?"

"No, I don't think they were going for that," Kowalski replied, sounding concerned. "I think someone was trying to get Private to end it all." There was a stunned silence.

"Are you sure?" Skipper asked.

"Well, it would explain the lunacorn-themed events of his 'dream'. Whoever it was knew that Private wouldn't actually do it unless he thought it was harmless."

"So that's why I had a feeling something was wrong," Private said. "And I was so excited to see the lunacorns and Princess Self-Respectra, too. I'm so glad I listened to my gut."

"Obviously, we're getting closer to the real killer; they're getting desperate to get this case closed," Skipper stated. "But who would resort to attempting to bump Private off?" Rico mumbled something and pretended to meditate.

"Julien?" Kowalski inquired.

"Uh-huh!"

"That makes sense," Skipper replied. "That file we found on him had some damaging info; it would definitely give him a motive."

"What file?" Private asked.

Skipper and Kowalski told him what they found out in Maurice's files that afternoon. Private nodded and turned to look at the far side of the room. As he did, something caught his eye. The others stared at him.

"What are you looking at?" Kowalski asked. They followed his gaze and saw something sticking out from behind the window curtains.

The penguins got up and went to get a closer look. Skipper pushed the curtain aside and Fred collapsed onto the floor, eyes closed. On cue, a flash of lightning and roll of thunder sounded outside. Kowalski flipped the squirrel over and leaned close to his chest. He got back up and looked at the others.

"He's dead." Private placed his flippers on his beak in terror. Skipper groaned.

"Oh, come on! What is going on around here? Three murders in just two days! From now on, we only let strangers in this hotel!" Suddenly, the penguins heard a high-pitched scream. They rushed to the elevator.

* * *

 **AHHHH! CLIFFHANGER ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! D: (clears throat) Mmm. . . Yeah, so Fred was murdered, which means there are now three murders to investigate. This is why the penguins didn't choose the hotel business life, people. ;) Okay, so who's screaming? Is it yet another murder? Is it a false alarm? What will happen next? :O**


	10. Red Herring

**YAY! I GOT A REVIEW! :D Thank you, taylormomsen8! It's nice to hear from you again and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! :) Here's a virtual butterscotch lolly to add to your collection of virtual goodies! O- Okay, let's continue! :D**

* * *

A few floors up, Marlene was screaming uncontrollably. The four penguins found her standing in the hallway.

"Marlene! What's wrong?" Skipper questioned, shaking her slightly. She stopped screaming and pointed into the room she was standing in front of, too stunned to speak. She stayed outside while they went in to investigate. In the middle of the floor was a small, red puddle.

"Kowalski, analysis!" The scientist leaned over the substance, dipped the tip of his flipper in it, and stood back up.

"Hmm. . ." He murmured.

"Well? What is it?" Skipper asked.

"Blood?" Private questioned, trembling.

"No. Ketchup."

"Ketchup!?" Suddenly Rockgut burst in, Julien not far behind him.

"Alright, what happened in here?" Rockgut inquired, stopping and looking at the stain. Marlene shakily entered the room.

"Well, I was j-j-just walking around the hotel, you know? And I saw the d-door was o-open and I came in here just to be like 'Oh, hi!' and t-then I saw t-that!" She stuttered, pointing at the puddle. Rockgut stared at the penguins.

"Whose room is this?"

"Fred's." Kowalski replied.

"The squirrel, huh? This case is getting screwier every minute," He grumbled. "Did any of you see him in the last few hours?"

Skipper quietly gestured to his teammates to keep quiet when the others weren't looking; he feared that Rockgut would only suspect Private even more if they told him about Fred. Rockgut pointed at Julien.

"Let's start with you, lemur. What were you doing up this late?"

"Eh, I was meditating in my room."

"Did anyone see you or do we just take your word for it?"

"The sky spirits were there." Skipper rolled his eyes; surely Rockgut wouldn't fall for that.

"Okay, you can go." Never mind. Julien smirked triumphantly and left. The inspector paced the floor.

"Somebody in this room knows a lot more than he or she is admitting, and I intend to find out who it is." He muttered.

"Are you making an accusation?" Kowalski asked. Rockgut spun around to face him.

"Maybe. I think that lawyer with the fluffy tail was bumped off to keep his book from getting published. Last night, he was murdered; tonight, his secretary disappears. Maybe he's still alive, maybe he isn't."

"He isn't." Private blurted out. Rockgut glared at him.

"How do you know?" The young penguin trembled slightly. Behind Rockgut, Private could see his teammates silently pleading with him not to say anything else. He gulped.

"Uhh. . . Because. . . Well, I mean. . ." His eyes fell on the ketchup stain. "That spot on the carpet. . . It's not ketchup or something." Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico sighed in relief.

"Hmm. . . It could mean that the squirrel got his ticket punched," Rockgut said, rubbing his beak. "Or it could just be a trick." At that moment, Julien reappeared and marched right up to the police penguin.

"You're wasting your time! It is the plumpy penguin! Do you not see the guilt written all over his feathery face!?" He grabbed Private and held him up for Rockgut to see. Private whimpered.

"Ringtail, put him down!" Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico yanked Private away from him. Julien glared at them and crossed his arms. Rockgut continued.

"I thought so too, but Doughboy here has come up with an airtight alibi."

"He has!?" Julien questioned in disbelief. Skipper understood what Rockgut was doing and stayed quiet; Kowalski, unfortunately, didn't quite take the hint.

"He has?!" Skipper slapped him. "Oh. I mean, yes, he has." The investigator placed his flippers on his hips.

"Alright, all of you can go now," Everybody started to leave. "Not you two." He pointed at Skipper and Private. The others left and shut the door, leaving the three penguins alone.

"Doughboy, I wanna tell you something."

"What?" Private asked, tapping the tips of his flippers together worriedly.

"You're in this thing up to your beak, but there was something strange about that lemur's alibi. So, I'm gonna give you one more chance to clear yourself." Private brightened up.

"You are?"

"Yeah, but you two lollipops better think of something fast; I'm getting closer to wrapping this case up, and I won't hesitate to throw the book at you. Now get going!" Skipper and Private exited the room. They waddled over to Kowalski and Rico, who were waiting for them in the hallway.

"So, what did he say?" Kowalski inquired.

"He's giving Private one more chance to clear himself," Skipper replied. "We're going to need some options." Kowalski smiled and scribbled some ideas on his clipboard, which had magically appeared from out of thin air.

"Well, the killer, or Julien, whichever you prefer, might try to get Private again in a last-ditch effort to escape getting convicted. So, I suggest we guard Private around the clock in three-hour shifts." He concluded, showing them the doodles he made.

"Outstanding. Then it's all set. Starting tomorrow, I'll go first, then you, then Rico. We'll rotate in that order until we have enough proof to clear Private's name. Now let's get some shut-eye." The penguins headed to the elevator, not realizing that someone was watching them from the shadows.

The penguins reached the top floor and headed to their rooms. As they passed Private's room, Private held Skipper back with his flipper.

"Umm. . . Would it be okay if I slept in your room, Skippah?"

"Why?"

"Mort is still in my closet."

"Oh, right," Skipper looked at the door and then at Private. "Come on." The two of them headed toward Skipper's room and went inside. His room was identical to Private's, except he didn't have a mirror on his closet door (which Skipper was now grateful for). He locked the door behind them and turned to Private.

"You can sleep in my bed, Private; I'll sleep on the couch." He headed toward the living room.

"Thanks, Skippah!"

"You're welcome, young Private. Now, get some sleep." Skipper left. Private climbed into bed and fell into a nice, lunacorn-free slumber.

* * *

 **So, for those of you out there who have seen the actual movie, this chapter pretty much stayed close to it, only I made the stain on the carpet actually ketchup instead of blood (it has nothing to do with the case, but it sure helped Private from getting arrested by Rockgut!). XD Well, Private has one more chance to clear himself, but will he be able to prove his innocence (and survive long enough to do so)? :O Things are going to get even more interesting! :)**


	11. Commence Operation: Protect Private

**Woo-hoo! You have reached the next chapter! :D Keep reading! :)**

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Early the next morning, the coroner came and took Mort away. Meanwhile, Private was still sleeping peacefully in Skipper's room. The leader was standing by the window, trying to figure out a way to prove the young penguin's innocence. All of them were almost certain Julien was guilty of all three murders, but the folder they found wasn't enough to convict him. As he continued thinking, Private started to wake up.

"Good morning, Skippah." He said, sitting up. Skipper turned around and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Private. Did you sleep well?"

"Yep!" Private nodded.

"Glad to hear it. How about we head down for some breakfast?" Private washed up and went with Skipper to the lobby. Once there, Skipper talked to Kowalski at the front desk while Private went to grab the crate of fish that had been dropped off outside (similar to milk delivery).

"Did Rockgut find Fred yet?" Skipper questioned. The tall penguin shook his head.

"No, but when I went into the dining room this morning, Fred wasn't there anymore."

"Hmm. . . That's weird. Who could've moved him?" Kowalski just shrugged. At that moment, Private waddled back inside with the crate.

"Rico, the fish is here!" Private heard some commotion coming from the dining room. A moment later, Rico appeared, running over to him excitedly.

"FISH!" He grabbed the box and dumped most of the fish into his mouth. Skipper glared at him.

"Ahem." Rico looked at him with a fish tail sticking out of his beak. He slurped it in and belched.

"Sowwy." He gave the box back to Private, who took a few fish for himself and brought the remaining ones to the others. After everyone ate, Rockgut came in.

"Alright, sugar puffs, listen up: That lemur is planning on leaving here late tonight, so Doughboy has until then to prove his innocence."

"Can't you just hold him until the investigation is over?" Kowalski inquired.

"I don't have a good enough reason to do that."

"What about the file Maurice had in his briefcase? Ringtail definitely had a motive for killing him, and a big one at that!" Skipper interjected, raising his flippers.

"I need actual evidence, not just a motive," Rockgut said. He turned and glared at Private.

"If I were you, I'd be trying to find a good lawyer." With that, the police inspector headed back to his room. Private sighed.

"I wonder if Uncle Nigel knows someone who can represent me?" Skipper gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

"Don't worry, Private. We still have all day to come up with evidence." He looked at the clock. "Well, I think it's time we change shifts. Kowalski, go and watch Private."

"Okay." The two of them switched places. A few moments of awkward silence followed.

"So, what should we do?" The lieutenant eventually asked.

"I don't know," Skipper shrugged. "Rico and I will try to work on finding evidence while you stay with Private and make sure nothing happens." Kowalski looked at Private.

"Well, it's a nice day. Do you want to go outside?"

"Okay!" The two of them went into the dining room. Private noticed that Fred was gone, but didn't ask about it. The two penguins headed out the patio door.

Kowalski was right: It was beautiful outside; the rainstorm last night had left the air feeling crisp. Private breathed in deeply and smiled.

"Wow, it's certainly a lovely day!"

"Yeah, a little fresh air does a penguin good." Kowalski grinned.

They started walking around in silence, enjoying the lush scenery. As they passed a tree, an arrow flew by and embedded itself into the trunk, missing them by mere inches. Private gasped. They looked in the direction it came from to see Julien holding a bow and wearing a Native American-style headband with a feather sticking up in the back.

"Oh, hello, fishy penguins!" He shouted as he approached. "Eh, sorry about that; I was doing some practicing with this stick thingy." Julien retrieved the arrow and walked away.

"I'm glad his aim isn't accurate," Private said. Kowalski nodded.

"Me, too."

While Private and Kowalski were trying to enjoy the great outdoors, Skipper and Rico were snooping around in Julien's room looking for evidence. Skipper was watching the door while Rico rummaged through some desk drawers.

"Anything, Rico?"

"Uh-uh." He grunted, shaking his head. The mohawked penguin looked over to the dresser and saw something sticking out of Julien's hat.

"'Ey!" Rico mumbled, pointing at it. Skipper turned and raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. . ." He waddled over to it and pulled a piece of paper out. "What's this?" Rico approached him as he unfolded the paper and examined it.

"It's a confession!" Skipper exclaimed. "And it has Private's footprint on it!" Rico gasped.

"What?!"

"He said he was innocent! How could this be?" Rico squinted at the drawings.

"Wai' a m'nute; 'hose aren't Pwivate's." He grumbled, pointing at some of the discrepancies. Skipper frowned.

"You're right: Private's drawings are more squiggly and cute. Ringtail must've gotten Private's footprint somehow and scribbled a phony confession above it! This might be the reason why he hypnotized Private last night; he would've put this next to him after he. . ." His voice trailed off.

Oh, how he was going to throttle Ringtail.

"This might be all the evidence we need."

Suddenly, the doorknob jiggled. The two glanced at each other and hastily looked for a hiding place. Skipper stuffed the paper back into Julien's hat while Rico slid under the bed. Skipper hid behind the desk. Julien entered a second later, carrying his bow and arrow. He walked over to the dresser and put the items down.

"Ugh, I need to practice shooting the pointy stick more; I was so close!" He muttered, taking off the headband and putting it on the dresser as well.

From Rico's vantage point, he could see Julien about twenty feet in front of him. He was careful to avoid his reflection being seen in the dresser's mirror. Diagonally to his left, Skipper was peeking at Julien from underneath the desk. The penguins glanced at each other; they wouldn't be able to move until Julien was either gone or distracted. The lemur picked up his swami hat.

"Well, I still have the plumpy penguin's confession." He pulled it out and stared at it quizzically; in his haste, Skipper didn't fold it neatly like Julien had left it. "Eh, I don't remember crumpling this."

Skipper face-flippered. Crud. Hopefully, Julien would dismiss it; fortunately, he shrugged and put his hat back on.

"Oh, well. I must think of another plan." He headed toward the bed.

Rico quietly pushed himself backward until his feet touched the wall. Julien jumped onto the bed, causing the frame to slam onto the penguin. He coughed up a hammer, which made a small thump. Julien sat up instantly.

Skipper clenched his flippers nervously while Rico swallowed the tool and stayed still. The lemur looked around, then settled back on the bed. Skipper sighed in relief before staring at the door; they really needed to get out of there.

"Hmm. . . I must think of another plan before it's the barfy penguin's turn to watch him. I shall meditate on it." He shifted so he could cross his legs.

The bed shook slightly while Julien moved, sending particles of dust onto Rico. The penguin shut his eyes and covered his beak to stop himself from sneezing. Skipper noticed Julien's eyes were closed and signaled for Rico to start heading for the door.

Ever so slowly, Rico crawled out from underneath the bed and tiptoed to the exit, Skipper close behind him. They quietly slipped out of Julien's room and headed down to the lobby as fast as they could.

* * *

 **Whew! That was close! ^^; What is Julien going to do during Rico's shift? Will the penguins be able to convince Rockgut that Julien is the killer and get him arrested before something bad happens? :[ Keep reading to find out!**


	12. Rico's Shift

**Ta-da! The next chapter has arrived! :D Ooh, and I received two reviews this time! :) A virtual butterscotch lolly goes to Four Elements Pom for sending in a review! I've replied below! :)**

 **taylormomsen8 : I know, right? Imagine what would've happened if they were caught! :O Yeah, poor Private keeps getting accused! :[ **

**Four Elements Pom : Hmm. . . I don't want to spoil anything, so that's classified until the last chapter (I'll get back to you on that in a special author's note later on). ;) I'm happy that you like the story! :D**

 **Okay, let's continue! :)**

* * *

Private and Kowalski finished their walk and headed back inside to meet with the others at the front desk.

"So, did you guys find anything?" Kowalski inquired.

"Oh, yeah," Skipper replied. "While you two were outside, we searched Ringtail's room. He has a phony confession with Private's footprint on it!" The lieutenant gasped.

"What!? How did he get that!?"

"I have no idea."

"Umm. . . I think I do." Private said, raising his flipper slightly. The other penguins looked at him.

"Okay, then. How?" Skipper asked.

"Well, when Marlene was talking to me the other day, she said I could clear my name if I proved who the real murderer was. I didn't know where to start, and she said that painting always helped her think. She suggested that I do my footprint, so I did." Skipper face-flippered.

"Accomplice?" Kowalski guessed.

"Definitely. She and Ringtail are in this together."

"And to think that she was so nice, too." Private added, disappointed.

"Did you learn anything else?" Kowalski questioned.

"Ringtail is planning on another attack, but he didn't say what." The lieutenant frowned.

"That's not good. He tried to shoot us with an arrow while we were outside; since that failed, I doubt he'll try that again."

"Thank goodness," Private commented.

"Yeah, but we don't know what he'll try next, so you have to watch out."

"Kowalski's right," Skipper said. "Don't let your guard down for anything." He glanced at the clock and tapped Rico's shoulder.

"Well, Rico, it's your turn to watch Private. Guard him with your life. Comprende?"

"Uh-huh!" The mohawked penguin saluted and stood next to Private. Skipper headed toward the elevator and beckoned Kowalski to follow.

"Kowalski, let's see if we can uncover more clues." The lieutenant gave Rico and Private one last look before following Skipper down the corridor.

Once they were gone, Rico grabbed Private's flipper and dragged him to the hotel's exercise room. As expected, there were tons of machines and a mirror that stretched across the entire side wall. Miss Perky was leaning in far the corner of the room, looking as happy as ever. Rico waved at her and lead Private over to a rack with barbells on it. He picked one up and gave it to him.

Unfortunately, the weight was too much for the small penguin and, when Rico dropped it into his flippers, Private face-planted on the floor. Rico didn't notice, as he was already sitting at a bench press next to Miss Perky, lifting some heavy weights. Private picked himself up and waddled over to watch him.

After Rico did three sets, he stopped to catch his breath. He sat up, smiled at his beloved doll, and went over to hug her. Private sat on another machine next to the bench press and faced the mirror, bored. He wasn't into lifting weights; most of them were too heavy for him, anyway. Private laid down on his stomach and closed his eyes.

A short while later, Rico finished cuddling Miss Perky and went to return to his workout. He saw Private resting one machine over and decided not to bother him. As he went to start a new set, he noticed something on the floor. He waddled around the machine to see what it was and smiled: It was a Marshmeow-Meow.

"Ooh. . ." He picked it up and ate it. To his delight, there was another one a few inches away; in fact, there was a whole trail of Marshmeow-Meows heading out of the room.

Normally, he would have been suspicious, but come on! There were Marshmeow-Meows just waiting to be eaten! Surely, Private would be fine by himself for just a few minutes. Rico followed the trail out of the room, eating each one as he went. After he left, Private opened his eyes and sat up.

"Rico?" He looked around the room and saw he was alone.

Suddenly, a terrible thought occurred to him: What if Julien came in and tried to hypnotize him? He wouldn't be able to fight him, then; he might fall under his spell the second he made eye-contact. At that moment, the door opened and Julien appeared.

"Hello, plumpy penguin. . ."

While that was going on, Skipper and Kowalski were in Marlene's room.

"Kowalski, report."

"Nothing, Skipper." The scientist was sifting through some items in Marlene's nightstand. Skipper crossed his flippers.

"Well, keep searching; there must be something in here that we can use against her."

"Wait a minute!" Kowalski turned to face him. "Private mentioned a jar of paint; it must be around here somewhere."

"Good thinking, Kowalski. Let's try to find it before she gets back."

Meanwhile, Private was trying desperately to maintain some distance between him and Julien.

"Stay away!" He yelled, backing away from him and trying his best to avoid making eye-contact. Julien smiled and continued toward him.

"It's okay, plumpy penguin, I'm not going to hurt you," He murmured. "I just want to be talking, about kingly things and the like."

"No!" As Private continued his retreat, he tripped over the barbell from before and fell on his back. He watched in terror as Julien got closer. The young penguin crawled backward until he hit the wall. Julien stood over him. Private shut his eyes and covered his face with his flippers, trembling.

"I'm not that scary, am I?" Julien asked innocently. "It's not like I'm going to use my mystical powers on you or something."

"Leave me alone! I don't want to be hypnotized!" Private squeaked. Julien leaned closer to him.

"Well, covering your eyes won't help. All I have to do is wave my kingly hand, like so. . ." He waved his hand over Private, and the penguin went still.

"Get up." Private did as he was told, his eyes looking distant. "Follow me," Julien commanded.

He led Private down a hallway connected to the exercise room and stopped in front of the door to the hotel's sauna. Julien turned to face Private.

"You will snap out of the trance once I leave." Julien shoved him into the sauna and blocked the door with a heavy water cooler. He then went to the sauna's control panel, turned the dial to the highest possible setting, and left the way he came in.

Inside, Private rubbed his eyes as the hypnosis wore off. He looked around and saw where he was. The room was already getting too steamy for him, so he tried to push the door. It was no use; he was trapped. Private started to panic and called for help, hoping that someone would hear him.

Up in Marlene's room, Skipper and Kowalski were still looking around.

"Sweet shiitake mushrooms! How hard is it to find a jar of paint!?"

"Apparently, not as easy as we thought, Skipper." Kowalski looked under the bed. "Wait, I think I found it." He grabbed the jar and stood up.

"Excelante. Now let's get out of here." Suddenly, Marlene came in. They froze.

"W-What are you doing in my room!?" She noticed the jar in Kowalski's flippers. "And what are you doing with my paint?"

"Look, Marlene, we know you tricked Private into giving you his footprint." Skipper said, putting his flippers on his hips. Marlene sighed.

"Alright, great, you caught me," She muttered. "But there's no time for that right now. Do you guys have a sauna in this place?"

"Yeah. Why?" Kowalski asked, confused by the random question.

"Well, it's going haywire and steaming up the entire lobby."

"Okay. . ." Skipper replied. "That's not good, but it's not like Rico and Private were nearby or anything, right?"

"Actually, they were." Skipper's eyes widened.

"Hoover Dam! Let's go!" He and Kowalski bolted out of Marlene's room.

"What about my paint?" She asked.

"Sorry, we're using it for evidence!" Kowalski yelled back. Marlene just stared after them.

* * *

 **AHHHH!** **PRIVATE'S IN TROUBLE! D: Well, Rico's going to be in big trouble, too, but still:** **PRIVATE'S IN TROUBLE! Will they make it to him in time?! :O Will Rico survive Skipper's impending wrath? :[ Keep your fingers crossed, hold on to your hats, clutch your homemade lunacorn plushie, etc.! ;)**


	13. Sauna Rescue

**Okay, people. It's time to see what happens next. . . but FIRST, I must reply to the reviewers. XD Thank you to taylormomsen8 and DreamFeathers! :D Here's a virtual butterscotch lolly for you, DreamFeathers! O- I've replied below:**

 **taylormomsen8 : YES! THEY MUST SAVE HIM! AHHHHHH! D:**

 **DreamFeathers : Aww, thank you so much! :3 I really appreciate it (and thank you for reviewing "It's All in the Gut")! :) Yeah, I know, it's completely different from my other stories (I hope it's not too big a stretch). ^^; That's okay; I think it's neat that this story is reminding you of other movies. :) Oh, _Clue_ would've been a good movie to do! XD I've only had the pleasure of seeing it once, though. Well, feel free to let me know what you think of this story as it continues! I always appreciate the feedback! :)**

 **Alright, just a quick note: Although Rico would definitely go on a sugar craze from eating Marshmeow-Meows, he's not going to do that in this story. Also, the following starts just a few minutes before Skipper and Kowalski get caught in Marlene's room. Okay, ONWARD! (trumpet noises) XD**

* * *

Meanwhile, Rico was still following the trail of Marshmeow-Meows, which led him all the way outside. Something out of the corner of his eye interrupted his sugary scavenger hunt. He turned around to see a huge cloud of steam pouring out from the exercise room. His heart sank.

"Uh-oh." He rushed back into the hotel. It was hard to see, but Rico managed to navigate through the maze of machines and weights to the sauna. He noticed the water cooler blocking the door and quickly shoved it out of the way. After turning the sauna off, he went inside. Private was laying on the floor, panting heavily.

"Pwivate!" He lifted the little penguin up and carried him over to the lobby, where there was less steam. He gently placed Private on the floor and coughed up a paper fan. As Rico started cooling him off, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rockgut ran out of the hallway and surrounded them.

"Rico! What happened!? I ordered you to watch Private!" Skipper yelled, fuming.

The scarred penguin told him about the trail of Marshmeow-Meows and that he didn't think anything would happen if he left Private alone for a few minutes. Rico flinched as Skipper smacked him hard across the face, leaving a bright red mark on his cheek.

"I don't care if you found the entire inventory of Marshmeow-Meows! You failed to follow my orders! Don't be surprised if I court martial you for this!" Skipper was beyond ticked. Rico rubbed his cheek and nodded; he deserved whatever he had coming to him.

"W-Water. . ." Private murmured, still overheated. Kowalski continued waving the fan over Private while Rico went to get the bottle of water from the water cooler.

When he returned, Skipper gently lifted Private's head up and Rico brought the bottle to the young penguin's beak. He drank the cool, refreshing water until the entire five-gallon bottle was empty. Rico was impressed.

"Wow." He mumbled. He put the bottle aside as Private sat up unsteadily.

"Private, what happened?" Skipper inquired.

"After Rico left, Julien came into the exercise room. I tried to get away, but he cornered me! I blanked out and, the next thing I knew, I was trapped in the sauna!"

"Hmm. . . Sounds phony to me," Rockgut said, unimpressed. "I think you're just trying to divert suspicion from yourself. You're not as naïve as you look, Doughboy."

Rico rambled angrily at him, saying that the door to the sauna was blocked from the outside, so Private couldn't possibly have done it himself. Skipper rubbed his face in annoyance.

"Open your eyes, Rockgut! Ringtail is trying to bump Private off! What more evidence could you possibly need?! We even found a phony confession in his room!"

"A phony confession, huh? Show me."

"We don't have it. He almost caught us, so we had to leave it there."

"Well, then I can't help you. I'll slap the charges on Doughboy tonight." Rockgut turned and left.

A few minutes later, the penguins helped Private up to his room. He was still shaken from all the events thus far, so the others decided to stay with him. Private was laying on his bed while the others were standing around the bedroom.

"Well, Rockgut is unwilling to help us," Kowalski stated.

"I think we got the message from him, Kowalski." Skipper retorted, rolling his eyes. "We're going to have to solve this case ourselves." He paced the floor for a few moments before glancing up at his second-in-command and speaking again.

"What clues do we have so far?"

"Let me see. . ." Kowalski pulled out his clipboard and examined his notes. He went over the following:

 **Suspects**

 _\- Julien_

 _\- Marlene (Accomplice)_

 **Motive**

 _\- Prevent Book from Being Published (Maurice and Fred)_

 _\- ? (Mort)_

 **Evidence**

 _\- Paint Jar_

 _\- Julien's File_

 **Still Need**

 _\- Cause of Death (Mort and Fred)_

 _\- Who Moved Fred's Body and Where_

 _\- False Confession_

When Kowalski finished, he looked up. Skipper rubbed his beak in thought.

"Well, we seem to have a lot, but it's still not enough. We need to get that confession back, and find out how the other two were killed."

"I still don't get why Marlene gave me that sushi roll," Private added. "She already had my footprint, so why did she have to do that to me?"

"That's a good question." Kowalski responded, adding that to his notes under the "Still Need" heading.

"Hmm. . . Well, considering that a certain penguin failed to watch Private," Skipper said, glaring at Rico. "I'll take over the shift. Kowalski, you and Rico go find Marlene and question her. Then, report back here." They nodded and left Private's room.

"Skippah, do you think Julien's still going to come after me?"

"Oh, yeah. Once he finds out that you escaped from the sauna, he'll try again." On cue, a random coconut crashed through the window and landed on the floor by Skipper's feet. "See?" He picked up the coconut and repeatedly tossed it upward with his flipper. Private frowned.

"He sure is persistent, isn't he?"

"Yeah."

There were a few minutes of silence. Suddenly, they heard footsteps approaching. Skipper signaled for Private to stay quiet; the young penguin nodded. Skipper stood in the middle of the room and faced the door, coconut raised. The door started to open.

"TAKE THIS, RINGTAIL!" He chucked it as hard as he could and hit Kowalski in the head. The lieutenant face-planted on the floor, unconscious. Skipper blinked.

"Whoops."

"Kowalski, NOOOOOOO!" Private yelled, throwing his flippers into the air dramatically. Skipper glared at him.

"Cut the drama, Private."

"Sorry, Skippah." Rico stared at the fallen penguin and nudged him with his foot. Kowalski groaned. The others went to see if he was okay. Skipper turned him over and noticed that he had a bump on his head.

"Kowalski, speak to me."

"The hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle is-"

"He's fine." Skipper stood up and waited for Kowalski to recover. Rico helped him up and Kowalski gingerly touched his wound.

"Ow! What did you hit me with?" He noticed the coconut lying on the floor and pointed at it. "Where did that come from?"

"Sorry about that, Kowalski. Ringtail threw a coconut through the window; I thought you were him."

"Great." He replied sarcastically. Rico regurgitated an ice pack and gave it to him.

"Thanks, Rico." The lieutenant winced as he held the pack to his injury.

"So, did you talk to Marlene?" Private questioned.

"Yeah. She told us that Julien asked for your footprint and didn't say why."

"What about the sushi roll?" Skipper asked.

"She just put knock-out drops in it so Private wouldn't ask questions," Kowalski looked at Private. "Marlene told me to tell you she's sorry; if she had known Julien was trying to frame you, she wouldn't have done it at all." The leader placed his flippers on his hips, not convinced.

"How do we know she told the truth?"

"Rico made sure of that." The penguin in question punched his fist into his flipper menacingly. Private stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Rico, you wouldn't!"

"Of course not," Kowalski said. "But she didn't know that." Rico grinned. Private sighed in relief.

"Ooh, possible third degree. . . I like it." Skipper smiled, rubbing his flippers together. "Now the next thing is to find out what happened to Sad Eyes and Fred." Just then, Julien appeared in the open doorway.

"Ah, hello fishy penguins! Have you seen my coconut?" He glanced at the floor. "Oh, there it is!" He grabbed it and turned to leave, but stopped to look at Kowalski, who was still holding the ice pack.

"Eh, that looks like a hard bump," He said. Kowalski just stared at him. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Julien turned to leave.

"Well, goodbye, smelly penguins!" He walked back down the hallway and disappeared. Skipper face-flippered.

* * *

 **DARN YOU, JULIEN! :[ Well, Rockgut's acting like a total jerk, so he's not going to be of any help (this is seriously how the police inspector acts in the movie if you were wondering). Oh, the five-gallon water bottle thing was borrowed from the film as well (at least Private is well-hydrated, now). ;) So, how were Mort and Fred bumped off? Find out in the next chapter!**


	14. Autopsy Results

**You've got mail - er, another chapter for your reading pleasure! Yeah! XD Thanks a bunch for reviewing, taylormomsen8! :) Yeah, Rockgut is such a big help in this story; like, it's unbelievable how helpful he's being. ;) Apparently, he needs a LOT of evidence to be convinced. :[ As such, the penguins are going to do all they can to find more clues. Let's see if they can accomplish that.**

* * *

"Blast that annoying lemur. . ." Skipper muttered, glaring in the direction Julien left. "I can't wait until we nab him."

"Umm. . . You were mentioning the other two?" Kowalski said, trying to get Skipper back on track.

"Oh, right." Skipper cleared his throat. "We'll split up. I'll go with Private to search for Fred; you and Rico talk to Rockgut and learn about Sad Eyes. We'll meet in the lobby in a half-hour." The penguins left Private's room and went into their assigned groups.

"Skippah, where should we look first? Fred could be anywhere."

"Well, let's start by checking the place where we saw him last – in the dining room."

They walked to the elevator and descended to the first floor. The steam from earlier had almost completely dissipated, making it easier for them to see. They entered the dining room and stood where they were last night.

"So, what exactly are we looking for?"

"Anything, Private. In this case, even the smallest detail can prove helpful." Skipper looked behind the curtains. Private studied the carpet and noticed that the spot where Fred fell was flattened; a trail of similar-looking strands led outside.

"Hey, Skippah, I think I found something." He pointed at the carpet.

"Hmm. . ." The leader mumbled, tapping his beak. "It looks like whoever moved him dragged him outside. Come on, Private." They headed for the hotel's backyard.

Meanwhile, Kowalski and Rico reached Rockgut's room and entered. The police penguin crossed his flippers and stared at them.

"If you two tuna-fed thumb suckers are here to tell me that your chubby pal is innocent-"

"We just came here to see the coroner's report on Mort." Kowalski interrupted, tired of hearing Rockgut's accusations.

"I haven't got it yet." He grumbled. "That incompetent coroner said he would give it to me as soon as it was done, but that's not fast enough!" When his back was turned, Kowalski and Rico exchanged glances. Deciding not to waste any more time, they started to leave. Rockgut spun back around.

"Oh, and another thing: If you're still trying to come up with ideas, banging your head on the wall won't help. Believe me, I've tried."

"I'm sure you have. . ." Kowalski muttered under his breath, still holding the ice pack to his head. They left and closed the door behind them.

Skipper and Private had been searching outside for ten minutes, with still no sign of Fred. They decided to sit under a tree and think.

"Well, whoever moved Fred's body certainly went to great lengths to hide it," Private said, staring at his flippers, which were resting on his tummy.

"I'm sure it was Ringtail who did it." Skipper replied. "What surprises me is that he actually went through all the trouble of moving it; you'd think he would just stuff it back behind the curtains."

"Maybe he wanted to hide him in a place that looked natural," Private suggested. Skipper looked at him.

"You mean like in a tree?" Simultaneously, the penguins looked up; partially hidden underneath some leaves was a squirrel's tail. They got on their feet and Skipper patted the young penguin on the back.

"Good job, Private. Here, I'll give you a boost." He leaned forward and cupped his flippers in front of him, ready to launch Private up to the branch.

"Why do I have to get him down?"

"Well, you were the one that came up with the idea."

"Yeah, but you were the one that mentioned a tree," Private argued. Skipper groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Private, we don't have time to argue." Sighing in defeat, Private stepped on the leader's flippers and was launched up to Fred. He landed on the branch, sticking his flippers out to balance himself. Private then nudged Fred off the tree limb and dropped back down.

"Okay, I'll take the front and you take the back." Skipper instructed. The two of them lifted Fred and headed back to the hotel.

Kowalski and Rico had just entered the lobby to see if the mail came. Conveniently, there was an envelope sitting on the front desk. Kowalski picked it up and opened it.

"It's the coroner's report," He said, skimming through it. "Hmm. . . It says that Mort died of asphyxiation by a dense, yet soft, object." Rico tilted his head in confusion.

"Huh?"

"He was smothered with a pillow."

"Oh." Just then, Skipper and Private showed up, carrying Fred. They put him down in front of the counter and looked at the others.

"Well, we found Fred," Private announced.

"Yes, Private, I can see that," Kowalski replied. Skipper noticed the paper Kowalski was holding.

"So, did you find out about Sad Eyes?"

"Yeah, the coroner's report just came in. He was suffocated with a pillow." Private looked at the floor, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh, dear. Poor Mort." Skipper rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.

"Yeah, but just think: I bet that right now, he's hugging all the feet he could ever possibly want to hug." Private gave Skipper a weak smile. Kowalski put the paper down and looked at Fred.

"Well, since you found Fred, I'll start working on determining the cause of death. Do you want to help, Rico?" The crazed penguin nodded excitedly.

"Okay!" He grunted. They lifted Fred off the floor (Kowalski using only one flipper) and waddled toward the elevator.

"We'll be in my room if you need us!" Kowalski called. "Oh, by the way, Rockgut wants that report." They disappeared down the hallway. Skipper picked up the paper and turned to Private.

"Well, I guess we better give this to him. Let's go."

"Umm. . . Could I just, maybe, go back to my room? I'd rather not talk to him." The small penguin asked, staring at the ground.

"Negative, Private. I refuse to let you out of my sight for anything." They went up to Rockgut's room and gave him the report; fortunately, he was too busy looking at it to assault Private with accusing words.

Meanwhile, in Kowalski's room, the others laid Fred on a table and prepared to examine him. Since his bump had gone down, Kowalski put the ice pack away so he could work. He started checking for any visible injuries.

"Hmm. . . Well, Fred's body is clean." The scientist said, standing up straight. Rico asked him something.

"No, we are not going to touch his spleen yet; I want to check one thing first."

"Aww, okay," Rico grumbled in disappointment. Kowalski pulled out a magnifying glass to examine Fred's teeth and noticed something.

"That's strange. . . Well, not really, considering it's Fred, but still." He muttered to himself.

"What?"

"Here, take a look," Kowalski handed the magnifying glass to Rico. "There are bits of acorn shells stuck to his teeth."

"Uhh. . . So?"

"I don't know yet." The scientist admitted. Rico sighed. Kowalski put some gloves on and opened Fred's mouth. Everything looked normal, but Kowalski detected a mild, almond-like scent.

"Good golly!" He exclaimed. "Somebody poisoned him with cyanide!" Rico blinked in surprise.

"Whoa." The scarred penguin thought for a moment. "Marlene?"

"Possibly. We need to tell the others."

* * *

 **So, now we know what killed Mort and Fred. The only reference in this chapter was Rico wanting to touch Fred's spleen (he and Kowalski wanted to touch Leonard the Koala's spleen in "Nighty Night Ninja"). XD Okay, we're getting closer to the climax of the story. Now that the penguins have more information on the case, will Rockgut FINALLY listen to them, or will poor Private be taken away to jail? D: Did Marlene really kill Fred? :O**


	15. Convincing Rockgut

**Yay! The next chapter is finally here! No reviews this time around, so we'll just continue right where we left off. :)**

* * *

Skipper and Private had just entered Kowalski's room to see what he uncovered and were shocked by the news.

"That's a lousy way to go." Skipper commented.

"Oh, dear!" Private whimpered.

"Kowalski, where could they have gotten that stuff?" The scientist scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Well. . . I have some in my lab." Skipper put his flippers on his hips.

"Any particular reason why?" Kowalski shrugged.

"Not really; I was trying to find a use for it."

"Well, Kowalski, someone found a use for it," Skipper retorted. "Now we need to find out who took it. What did it look like?"

"It's in a test tube labeled with a skull and crossbones."

"Okay, we'll split up again. Kowalski, you and Private go search Marlene's room; I'll go with Rico to check Ringtail's room." They left and went to their assigned areas.

As Skipper went with Rico to Julien's room, he couldn't help but think. He hadn't seen Julien since the whole coconut incident. He was probably planning another scheme to get rid of Private. Of course, Kowalski would protect Private no matter what - at least, Skipper hoped he would. He could almost imagine Julien distracting him with some nerdy science equipment and then trapping Private somewhere else, a place where they might not be able to rescue him in time. Skipper shoved the thought out of his mind as he and Rico entered Julien's room.

It was empty. For a moment, Skipper thought that they could take this opportunity to get Private's footprint back, but he soon realized that the lemur's hat was nowhere to be found. Rico started rummaging through Julien's nightstand while Skipper checked the dresser in silence.

At the same time, Kowalski and Private were looking through Marlene's things. Private found the bottle of knock-out drops in a desk drawer and handed it to Kowalski.

"Alright, we'll hold it for evidence." He said. Private waddled to the other side of the room and continued searching. Suddenly, Marlene barged in, causing them to look at her.

"Again? What are you looking for this time?" She asked, glaring at Kowalski; she didn't notice Private was there.

"Don't you know it's impolite to barge into someone else's room?" The lieutenant shot back.

"Not if it's mine."

"Oh, yeah. Good point." Kowalski frowned. "Well, if you must know, we're looking for more evidence."

"Who's 'we'?" She asked. Private spoke up.

"Him and me." Marlene turned to see him standing there and suddenly embraced him in a tight hug, startling him slightly.

"Oh, Private, I'm so sorry!" She cried. Private and Kowalski glanced at each other.

"Umm. . . Thanks for the apology." Private replied awkwardly. Marlene released him and gestured toward the room.

"Alright, you can search my room again. I'm sure you won't find anything else here, though."

"Well, we'll see about that," Kowalski replied. He opened a drawer and gasped; inside was the missing test tube and a bag of acorns. The lieutenant pulled out the items and looked at the otter.

"What's this, hmm?" Marlene was stunned.

"What? I never saw those before! Why would I have a bag of acorns and that. . ." She pointed at the tube. ". . . whatever that thing is?"

"To poison Fred?" Kowalski suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't do anything to him! I'm innocent!" Private gently patted her on the back.

"It's okay, Marlene. I'm sure we'll be able to prove your innocence, too."

"Come on, Private. Let's go tell the others." Kowalski waddled out Marlene's room with the evidence and Private followed.

Five minutes later, he and Kowalski entered the lobby. Skipper and Rico showed up moments after them.

"So, Kowalski, I see you found some more evidence." The leader noted.

"Yeah. Marlene insists that she's innocent, however."

"Hmm. . . Well, isn't poisoning enemies her thing? It was in Maurice's file."

"True, but we still don't know for sure," The tall penguin explained. "Julien could have framed her, too." Just then, Rockgut came in. Kowalski quickly hid the items behind the counter.

"Alright, sugar puffs! It's almost evening. Tell me what you got."

"Ringtail threw a coconut and broke Private's window." Skipper said. Rockgut crossed his flippers.

"Where's the coconut?"

"Julien took it back a few minutes later," Kowalski replied.

"So, as far as I'm concerned, it might not have even happened."

"Private's window is still smashed! Isn't that proof enough that it did happen?" Skipper asked, frustrated.

"No, that only proves the window was broken somehow, perhaps by a certain penguin." Rockgut squinted at Private, who shrunk back.

"Come on! Do you ever give anyone a break!?" Skipper yelled.

"Not when they're guilty," He shot back, poking Private's chest. "So, Doughboy, how do you explain those two murders?"

"I didn't do it! I swear I didn't!" Private got on his knees and pleaded. "You have to believe me!"

"What about the squirrel? I bet you bumped him off, too!"

"No! I just found him in the dining room-" Private clamped his beak shut, but it was too late. The other penguins' hearts fell. Rockgut, having heard enough, roughly yanked Private up by his flipper.

"That's good enough for me. I place you under arrest for premeditated homicide. Let's go." He dragged Private to the front doors.

The young penguin stared teary-eyed at his teammates. Skipper and the others gazed at the floor in defeat. Just as Rockgut pushed the front door open, a voice sounded.

"Hey, fishy penguins!" The lowlife of a police investigator stopped and turned around, still holding Private's flipper.

"Did you three lollipops hear that?" Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico nodded. Rockgut went back inside and let go of Private, who flopped on his back. Rockgut stared at the ceiling.

"Eh, you're cold," Julien announced. The penguins looked around, trying to figure out where his voice was coming from.

"Split up." Skipper said. They started searching. Skipper looked under a couch.

"Nope," Julien told him. Rico looked behind a curtain.

"Uh-uh." Kowalski lifted a flower pot sitting on a coffee table.

"Uh, smarty penguin. . . For a smarty penguin, you sure picked a stupid place to look." Skipper waddled over to Kowalski and slapped him. Finally, Private approached the radiator against the side wall.

"Why, hello, plumpy penguin! You found me! Well, my kingly voice, that is." The others joined him.

"What do you want, Ringtail?"

"Not much, just the plumpy penguin. I want to make you a deal."

"What?" Private asked.

"You come to the caverns tonight by yourself, and I'll give you the confession and let you live." Skipper crossed his flippers.

"Oh, is that all? What makes you think I'll let Private meet you by himself?"

"Eh, that is a good point. How about if I gave you my word, as a kingly mystical guy, that I shall not harm him?" Kowalski silently notified Skipper that he was probably in the basement. The leader nodded and signaled to Rico to go and throttle the lemur. The mohawked penguin left the room. In the meantime, Skipper continued talking to Julien.

"Oh, that changes everything." He replied sarcastically; the idiotic mammal didn't take the hint.

"Good! Meet me by the bottomless pit at nine o'clock tonight. Bye, fishy penguins!" With that, the lemur fell silent. A few minutes later, Rico returned, carrying a record player and looking very confused. The others turned around.

"Rico, I told you to go down there and get Ringtail, not a record player!" The scarred penguin grumbled that Julien had already left, and the record player was the only thing to prove he was there at all.

"Umm. . . So, he put that down there?" Private asked. "Didn't he talk to us, though? It couldn't have been recorded." Rico put the needle down on the record and Julien's voice came out of the speaker.

"Testing. . . One, two, three. . . Eh, you know what? I think I shall just talk to them in person." Rico tossed the record player to the side in irritation, causing it to crash somewhere off-screen.

"How was he able to escape? We were still talking to him when I sent Rico down there!"

"Skipper, there's a window in the basement, remember?" Kowalski pointed out. The leader face-flippered. Rockgut glared at Private.

"Well, I guess this is your last chance to clear yourself; you better make the best of it."

* * *

 **Okay! So, I kind of chipped the fourth wall there by having Rico throw the record player off-screen (in fact, that was what chipped the fourth wall. . . literally). ;) He quickly regurgitated some plaster and repaired it, though. XD The next chapter will be the actual climax of our not-so-little tale. Will Private be able to get the phony confession back from Julien and make it out alive? :O**


	16. Meeting at The Lost Caverns

**Okay, this chapter will have the actual climax of the story! To taylormomsen8, yes, Rockgut is probably getting on everyone's nerves. XD Well, we shall see about that. . . Let's continue the tale! :)**

* * *

"Alright, we're going to need a plan," Skipper said, pacing back and forth. "Rico, map." The mohawked penguin hacked up a map of the caverns and spread it out on the front desk. The others went over to study it.

"Well, the bottomless pit is here," Kowalski informed them, pointing to the location on the map. "It's the furthest point from the entrance to the caverns and is completely out in the open, which means we'll have to watch Private from a distance."

"That's just great," Skipper muttered. "In that case, we'll each cover a separate area. Kowalski, you'll be closest to Private near the bottomless pit, Rico will cover the middle of the caverns, and Rockgut and I will guard the entrance. We head out at 2030 hours so we can get in position."

"What do I do, Skippah?"

"Private, you're going to meet Ringtail at the bottomless pit as planned; we want him to think you're alone. If he tries anything, let us know; we'll back you up, okay?"

"What if he tries to hypnotize me again?"

"I'm sure he won't try to do that if he thinks you're alone," Kowalski replied. Rockgut crossed his flippers.

"Well, if we're all through with the mission briefing, I'll go and finish my paperwork." He turned and left.

Several hours later, at 8:30 that night, the group reached the entrance to The Lost Caverns. It was raining, so Rico had regurgitated a big enough umbrella to keep the group as dry as possible. Private looked at the sign next to the entrance.

"'The Lost Caverns: Do Not Enter'. I wish we could just forget about this whole thing."

"Don't worry, Private. Kowalski will be watching you the whole time." Skipper assured him.

They stepped inside. Rico put the umbrella away, hacked up a flashlight, and turned it on. Ahead of them was a vast area with stalagmites and stalactites jutting out from the ground and ceiling, respectively; there were also a few puddles of mud from the rain. Kowalski looked at the caverns in awe.

"Look at these magnificent caverns! Why haven't we bothered to come here before?" His voice echoed throughout the caves, and he covered his beak. "Oops." He whispered.

"Yeah, maybe we should whisper, Kowalski," Skipper replied as quietly as he could. "As for your question, we never really had a reason to, but now is not the time for sight-seeing. Let's just get in position."

"Okay, but how are we going to communicate if something happens?" Kowalski asked. Skipper thought about it.

"Hmm. . . Good point. Rico, we need more flashlights," The scarred penguin retrieved three more for Skipper, Kowalski, and Rockgut. "If something happens, wave your flashlight to Rico and he'll relay the signal to us; we'll get there as fast as possible. Alright, let's move."

The penguins went into their positions. Skipper and Rockgut stayed by the entrance. Rico followed Kowalski and Private until they reached the middle of the caverns, then went to find a hiding place. As the two remaining penguins continued, Private grew nervous; he had a bad feeling about the whole thing. After several more minutes of walking, they finally reached the end of the caverns.

This area was even bigger than the one at the entrance, with a high ceiling and noticeably fewer rocks as compared to the rest of the caves. To their left was a small tunnel that led to the bottomless pit; to the right was a small recess, just big enough for Kowalski to slip into and still close enough to watch Private without being detected.

"Well, I'm going to hide. Be careful, Private." The lieutenant walked over to the little nook and got in position.

Kowalski aimed his flashlight at the ceiling to give the area a bit of light without it appearing overly conspicuous. Private clasped his flippers and waddled toward the tunnel that led to the pit. He didn't know what time it was, but he didn't want to blow Kowalski's cover by asking him, so he stayed quiet; besides, Julien would probably call out to him at any moment.

"Hey, plumpy penguin!" Private looked around but didn't see Julien anywhere. He trembled slightly.

"Where are you, Julien?"

"Over here! Follow the sound of my kingly voice!" Private listened carefully; Julien was further down the tunnel. The penguin continued until the tunnel opened to reveal another spacious area, this one being extremely dangerous.

There were small ledges along the walls lined with stalagmites; directly in front of Private was the bottomless pit. Against his better judgment, Private looked down; he couldn't see the bottom of the pit at all (not surprising). He whimpered.

"Julien?"

"Eh, I'm up here." Private looked upward; over the middle of the pit was a small, circular hole. Julien poked his head through it and smiled at him.

"How am I supposed to get up there?" Private asked, placing his flippers on his hips. He wasn't going any further into the area unless there was a safe way up to him. Julien disappeared for a moment and came back with a rope in his hands.

"Don't worry, I have a rope. Here, grab it and tie it around yourself." Julien disappeared again and lowered the rope.

In order for Private to reach it, he would have to make his way along one of the ledges and either jump to it or have Julien swing it toward him. Of course, Private was going to choose the second option. He approached one of the ledges and used the protruding rocks as a horizontal ladder. When he reached the end, he looked up; from his new vantage point, he could see Julien standing diagonally above him.

"Okay, Julien, swing the rope over to me!" Private called out. Julien did, and he tied it around his tummy.

"Are you ready?" Julien asked.

"Yeah, pull me up."

Private held on tight as he was lifted off the ledge and toward the hole. Eventually, his head popped through and he looked around. Unlike the rest of the caverns, this area was small, with only a couple of rocks and a low ceiling. Private was almost in; he just needed to slip through the hole and-

Private only made it halfway before getting stuck; he was too round. The hole was lower than the rest of the floor; in fact, it almost looked like a sink. He tried to push himself up with his flippers, but that didn't work. He looked at Julien, who was smiling down at him.

"Eh, you seem to be stuck."

"Yes, I am. Can you help me out, please?" It might have sounded like a stupid question, considering who Private was asking, but it couldn't hurt to try, right? Julien pretended to think and tapped his chin.

"Hmm. . . Let me see. . ." He looked around. "Aha!" He gestured to a natural spring less than ten feet away and approached it.

Suddenly, Private knew what the lemur was going to do. To his horror, Julien used his hands to dig into the dirt and cause the water to flow toward him. The young penguin desperately tried to free himself as the water started surrounding him.

"What are you doing!?" Private cried as the water quickly rose to his shoulders. After tying the rope to a nearby rock, Julien reached into his turban, pulled out the confession, and placed it on the ground near Private.

"The water will soon be over your feathery head. Here is the confession like I promised. Have fun in the place of eternal slumber, plumpy penguin!" Julien waved at him and made his escape. Private attempted to pull himself out with the rope, but he was stuck too tight.

"SKIPPAH, KOWALSKI, RICO! HELP!" He screamed as loud as he could, hoping they would hear him. He held his breath as the water approached his beak. A moment later, the water completely covered him.

Meanwhile, Kowalski, who had been following Private, had given up on the silent communication bit and was running frantically through the caverns, waving his flashlight around chaotically.

"AHHHH! PRIVATE NEEDS HELP! RICO, SKIPPER, ROCKGUT, COME ON!" They joined him near Rico's hiding place, but Kowalski kept running. "FOLLOW ME!" They did without question. The scientist led them to an upper level of the caverns and scrambled through the area, searching for Private.

Not too far away, Private was starting to worry. Under normal circumstances, he could hold his breath for quite a while. However, since he was wedged, he couldn't take a very deep breath, and he was starting to lose oxygen. If they didn't arrive in a few more minutes. . .

"Private! Where are you!?" It was Kowalski. Private raised his flippers as high as he could, hoping he'd notice. The tips of his flippers broke the water's surface. To his relief, he heard Skipper shouting.

"Wait! I think I found him!" A moment later, Private felt the rope tug and he was lifted out of the water onto dry land. Private coughed and lay on his stomach, shaking. Suddenly, he was turned over and brought into a tight hug.

"Private! Are you okay?" It was Skipper. Private didn't answer at first, since he was still catching his breath. He eventually nodded.

"I'm okay, Skippah," Rico coughed up a blanket and gave it to him. "Thanks, Rico." Skipper let him go and Private wrapped the blanket around himself. Kowalski was standing by the makeshift waterfall, holding the phony confession.

"Skipper, here it is." Before he could do anything else, Rockgut quickly snatched it away from him and looked it over.

"Hmm. . . Now, this is something I could use," He mumbled. "But we still need to catch that lemur before he gets away." Skipper nodded in agreement.

"Right. Come on, men! Back to the hotel!"

* * *

 **Ugh, NOW Rockgut believes them (it took him long enough). :[ Will they make it back to the hotel in time to catch Julien? Does Julien have one last plan up his headache hat (a.k.a. turban)? The final chapter is up, so keep reading! :)**


	17. Case Closed

**Okay, the final chapter is here at last! It's shorter than all the others (which may be a relief to a lot of you readers out there)! ;) Let's finish this thing!**

* * *

It took only a few minutes for the group to return to the hotel.

"Alright, lollipops. That fluffy tail is gonna book it out of here soon, so we gotta catch him quick." Rockgut grumbled, scanning the lobby. Skipper turned to his second-in-command.

"Kowalski, I need ideas on possible hiding spots."

"Well, it's highly unlikely that he went back to his room; he's probably hiding in the last place we'd think to look." Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Do you mind telling us where that might be?"

"Private's room."

"Well, okay then. Let's go!" The penguins and Rockgut took the elevator to the top floor of the hotel and rushed to Private's door. Skipper held up his flipper.

"Shh. I'll go in first." He quietly stepped inside and closed the door behind him while the others waited in the hallway. Everything was quiet.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash followed by groaning. Everyone else entered the room to see Skipper pinned underneath a large dresser, which had been hanging from the ceiling. Julien stepped out from behind the window curtain across from them and frowned, obviously annoyed.

"Ugh, bossy penguin! You were supposed to be the plumpy one! You've ruined my plan!" He threw his hands in the air in frustration. Rico and Kowalski lifted the furniture off Skipper and helped him up.

"Skippah, are you okay?" Private asked, waddling over to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Private." Rockgut stormed over to Julien, whipped out a pair of handcuffs, and slapped them on the lemur's wrists.

"I'm booking you and your fluffy tail on three counts of premeditated homicide. Let's go, punk!" Rockgut escorted Julien out of the room and closed the door behind him. The penguins smiled at each other.

"Well, it looks like this case is now closed and Private is in the clear. Up high, boys!" They gave each other high fives. "Let's head downstairs for some of Private's love smoothies; I think we could use some unwinding." They left Private's room.

"Oh, and Rico, we start your court martial tomorrow morning." Skipper added. Rico frowned.

"Aww, man!"

 _ **The End (of Private's Dream)**_

Private woke up to see the others staring at him with confused looks. It was early the next morning.

"Oh, hello. Umm. . . Why are you staring at me like that?" The young penguin questioned, propping himself up with his flipper.

"You were talking in your sleep," Kowalski replied. "Something about Julien, hypnosis, and some other things."

"Oh, I was having a dream about the movie we watched last night."

"Private, I thought you said the movie didn't scare you." Skipper said, crossing his flippers. Private sat up and shook his head.

"It didn't scare me, Skippah. It's just. . . Well, like. . ." He tried to think of how to explain it.

"I think I understand," Kowalski responded. "Since we were all talking about the movie just before going to bed, your mind concocted a parody replacing the actors with us. I presume you were the one being framed for murder and Julien was the swami, right?" Private blinked.

"Actually, yeah." Kowalski smiled and pumped his fist.

"YES! I knew I was right!" The others looked at him blankly.

". . . Okay, then. How about you tell us about your dream?" Skipper said after a minute of awkward silence. Private recalled everything, from beginning to end. Ten minutes later, he finished and took a deep breath. The others stared at him for a moment.

"Well, that's certainly interesting," Kowalski stated. "Although your dream wasn't entirely accurate." Skipper placed his flippers on his hips.

"Of course not, Kowalski. It was a dream! Besides, I like his dream's ending more than the original one; it was definitely less confusing."

"Uh-huh!" Rico agreed. Of course, he added that he didn't care for the court-martial part. Private smiled.

"Alright, then. I think we've discussed Private's dream enough. It's time for morning training, anyway. Come on, boys." Skipper climbed up the ladder and disappeared topside, with Kowalski and Rico following. Just before Private left the HQ, however, he reached under his pillow and grabbed a Peanut Butter Winky. It was good to be awake.

 _ **The End**_

* * *

 **Whew! This concludes the story. :) Not only is it the longest PoM story I've written, it's also the longest story I've ever posted on FanFiction (it beat "Daffy Duck: Prime Suspect" by at least 1,000 words!). :O**

 **Now, for that special author's note that I promised Four Elements Pom: In the actual movie, the murderer is the hotel manager (like Private mentioned back in the prologue). However, since my version had significantly fewer characters, I had no such part. If I had to choose someone besides the swami, I might have picked Kowalski (since he was kind of close to being the "manager"). Still, I wanted to avoid a confusing ending like in the actual film, so I made my ending short, sweet, and simple. Besides, if the killer wasn't the swami, the title would have lied to you! I didn't want that! ;)**

 **Okay, one last thing. If you liked this story, please click on the favorite button and/or send a review! If not, constructive criticism works, too (just no flames, please). :) Check out my profile for more stories! See you next time! :D**


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